Fills My Head
by dorkyduck09
Summary: Blaine is the biggest nerd and most invisible student at McKinley. He lives life from a distance, preferring to stay up in his head. Recently, though, his head is filled with thoughts of Kurt Hummel, the boy he'll never gather the courage to speak to.
1. Chapter 1

Blaine wandered through the halls of McKinley High with his books hugged to his chest and his eyes darting from person to person. He was looking for someone—someone special. Well, special to him. The person he was looking for didn't even know he existed. Blaine knew he would never approach this person, that nothing would ever happen, so he didn't think it was wrong to ogle. And anyway, Blaine reasoned, the person he was looking for always dressed so extravagantly and always walked around with this fuck you attitude—he wanted to be ogled. So Blaine didn't feel so guilty when he spotted the boy and stared. Yes, he was sure of it. Kurt Hummel wanted to be ogled, and who was Blaine to deny him that?

Blaine watched Kurt discreetly, his eyes following as he glided down the hallways with his friends from glee. There was no way Kurt would ever want to be with him, Blaine thought as he pushed his glasses back up his nose and turned towards his advanced math class. Blaine usually hated math—even the advanced class was too easy to hold his attention—but today he couldn't wait to get there. He would have an entire hour to spend daydreaming about Kurt. As soon as he saw the day's topic he smiled: exponential functions. He could do that in his sleep. He sank into his chair and pulled out his notebook and pen hoping to at least create the illusion of attentiveness. Even if it didn't work the teacher knew he was smart and Blaine didn't think he would bother him. He rested his chin on his hand and turned his face towards the rainstorm outside. As he watched raindrops chasing each other down the window, his mind started to wander. He wondered if others would find it creepy that he spent the entire hour daydreaming about a boy he'd never spoken to. More importantly, he wondered if Kurt would find it creepy. He wondered if people would tease him about it, or if they would forgive him because he was a nerd. And if they did bully him, would it be because he was creepy or because he was gay? Nobody had ever bullied Blaine before and he wondered if he could handle it. Kurt could always handle it. Even when someone threw a slushie in his face he would make some biting remark and walk to the bathroom with his head held high. Blaine couldn't help but find it attractive. He was just so _proud_. Blaine hadn't even built up the nerve to tell his parents he was gay and he didn't know if he ever would. His parents loved him—he came home with straight A's, dressed well, and was well on his way to becoming an eagle scout—but didn't know how they'd feel if they knew he was gay. They weren't religious, really, although they did go to church on Christmas Eve. His parents just weren't accepting, a product of their generation, he supposed.

Blaine imagined the sweeping declaration Kurt must have made when he came out to his friends and family. Kurt made a production of it, Blaine was sure of it. Maybe his parents knew the whole time. Kurt seemed like the type who was fabulous from birth. There was no way a wardrobe like that came out of nowhere. That was something that started at a young age. And oh, that wardrobe. Blaine nearly swooned in his seat just thinking about those tight pants Kurt always wore. He looked so good in them. Watching him walk around in those pants with his chest-hugging shirts made Blaine want to grab him, pull him into a closet and… and… well that was usually about as far as the daydreams got. Blaine didn't know a lot about sex—he didn't know anything about sex, if he was being completely honest. He'd never so much as kissed another boy. Or held hands with one. Or made mutual googly eyes with one. He'd never really even flirted with one. Blaine groaned, and then quickly faked a cough when he realized he had done it loud enough for people to hear. Why did he have to be so inexperienced? Why couldn't he just pluck up the courage to talk to people? Why couldn't he just introduce himself to Kurt. He thought that he really wanted to kiss him, but he couldn't just _do_that. _One__does__not__simply__walk__into__Mordor,_ Blaine thought and then laughed out loud. He needed to stop having Lord of the Rings marathons. He needed to make some friends and get the heck out of his nerd cave of a bedroom.

Blaine's determinism didn't last, however, and the evening found him alone in his room playing World of Warcraft. He played for hours, his mind focused only on getting further in the game. He played until he was exhausted. He got up slowly from his chair and shuffled tiredly to his closet. Once he had changed, Blaine slid into bed, ready to sleep away the thoughts of his game, his day, his homework, everything. Blaine loved the peacefulness of sleep, the feeling of all those absent hours when he awoke in the morning. Being buried in blankets, helpless and unaware, gave him a sort of comfort. He could just _be_ without having to worry about anything. Anticipating these feelings, he slipped slowly into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine woke the next morning to the sound of his mother yelling.

"Blaine? Are you still sleeping? You have to leave for school in twenty minutes!"

Blaine bolted upright and grabbed his glasses off his nightstand. He looked at the clock and gasped when he saw the time: 7:21. He usually left for school at 7:40, giving him plenty of time to drive to school and organize his books in his locker before heading to his first class. Leaping out of bed, Blaine tried to pull his head together, but he was scrambling. He threw on some clothes he didn't think he'd worn recently and ran to the bathroom. He sighed when he saw his hair. Usually his curls got gelled back, but he didn't have time for that today. He'd have to let them out of their cage. He quickly brushed his teeth, gathered his books, and ran into the kitchen. His mother handed him his lunch, a granola bar, and a mug of coffee. She smiled sympathetically as Blaine grabbed his keys and ran out to the car. He was running ten minutes late now and had to run through the school in order to get to his first class on time.

He ran into English right as the bell rang and slid into his seat in the front row. He grabbed his books and finally took a sip of his coffee. It was cold. Blaine scrunched his nose and sighed. Coffee was his addiction, and now he'd have to go an entire day without it. He groaned quietly and looked up at the teacher.

His second class didn't go much better after Blaine realized he'd left the previous night's homework sitting on his desk at home. By the time he got to his third class Blaine had already labeled the day "The Worst Day of My Life. Ever." He nearly cried when his history teacher told him they'd be discussing the Holocaust that day. That Rachel Berry girl was in his class and every year when this topic came up she'd spend the entire class lecturing about the injustice of it all. As if everybody else didn't already know. He let his head thunk to the desk when he heard her voice begging for attention from a few rows back. He spent the entire period willing the ceiling to fall on his head and crush him.

The bell rang mercifully and Blaine all but ran out the door. He kept his pace as he went towards his locker, anxious for the respite of lunch. Not that he ever sat with anybody at lunch or anything, but today that was why he was excited. A full 35 minutes with no teachers, no annoying classmates, no forgotten homework, nothing. A full 35 minutes he got all to himself.

He bent down at his locker and started placing his old books inside. Just as his hand touched his first book for the afternoon, he heard a voice. Blaine froze.

"Um, hello?" The voice said again. "Are you Blaine Anderson?"

Blaine stood up and looked at the source of the voice. It was him. Kurt Hummel was standing at his locker, saying his name. Blaine's eyes went wide and his cheeks reddened. He felt the strain in his voice before he even attempted to speak.

"Y-yes," he said, and then cursed himself for how pathetic he sounded. Kurt gave him a concerned look but continued.

"I'm Kurt Hummel. I'm in chemistry this term and, well, I'm not doing very well. Mrs. Peterson told me you're the one to come to for help?"

"Y-yes."

"So, will you help me? I'm usually an excellent student, but chemistry…" Kurt trailed off, biting his bottom lip and looking intently at Blaine.

"Y-yes," Blaine stuttered. Again. "Yeah, yeah I'll tutor you. I did really well in chemistry." Kurt seemed to relax once Blaine stammered out a full sentence.

"Good," he said. "I don't have glee after school today so do you want to meet in the library after classes?"

"Y-yes. Sure. I'll see you there, Kurt." Satisfied, Kurt turned and walked away. Blaine, however, stood rooted to the spot. _Oh__my__gosh,_Blaine thought. _I__'__m__going__to__help__Kurt__study__in__the__library.__I__'__m__going__to__help__Kurt.__I__'__m__going__to__spend__time__with__Kurt._ He grabbed up the rest of his books before heading to lunch, making a note to himself to do something about his hair after his last class.

* * *

><p>Blaine stood outside the library taking deep breaths to calm himself. He had fixed his hair a little bit, but he couldn't do anything about the outfit he had picked out so hastily. The stress of the day hadn't done much to help him, either. He knew he looked like crap, and he was not happy about it. He wanted to impress Kurt, and this might be his only chance. He groaned in frustration before taking one final breath and stepping inside the library. He found Kurt immediately, sitting in the corner with his books spread out and a look of confusion already on his face. Blaine felt his shoulders tense as he approached the table. He cleared his throat.<p>

"Oh, Blaine, thank god!" Kurt gestured for Blaine to sit as he pushed his assignment toward him. "I don't understand anything. She gave us this assignment but I think it has to do with whatever we were tested on last week. I didn't really get that either."

Blaine looked down at the sheet and smiled—acidity. Feeling more comfortable, he picked up Kurt's pencil and started explaining. He scribbled on the paper and in the notebook, having to go back a little to help Kurt understand. Kurt and Blaine spent an hour together bent over the chemistry notes and never once broke their concentration. Finally Kurt was smiling and the stress of the homework had disappeared from his face.

"Wow, Blaine. This totally makes sense now," Kurt smiled at him. Blaine swooned. "I don't know what I'd do without you!"

"It's no problem, Kurt. I'm happy to help." Blaine flashed what he hoped was a flirty smile before blushing and looking down at his hands.  
>"Do you think you could tutor me again next Monday? I'd really like to keep up with this class." Kurt looked at Blaine hopefully.<p>

"Yeah, of course. I'd love to help you."

"Here, let me give you my number," Kurt said as he picked up Blaine's phone. He tapped his phone number into it as he spoke. "Is it okay if I text you if I have any problems?"

"A-absolutely. I'll text you quickly so you have mine, too." Blaine's eyes went wide at the boldness of his statement, but Kurt didn't seem to notice. Perhaps he was just being paranoid. That wasn't too forward, was it? Kurt's phone beeped and he smiled when he saw Blaine's number pop up.

"Perfect. I'll see you around, Blaine. Thanks again!" And with that, Kurt walked out of the library, leaving Blaine stunned and blushing in the corner. They hadn't strayed from homework, but Blaine thought it had gone well. He hadn't made a fool of himself, and Kurt actually seemed grateful for his help. They exchanged numbers, and Kurt wanted to see him again. Blaine couldn't help the smile on his face as he gathered his books and ran out of the library.


	3. Chapter 3

The following days were the most exciting of Blaine's high school career. Every time Kurt saw Blaine he would smile and wave—they even had a short conversation in the bathroom one day about bowties. Blaine was on cloud nine. He was still watching Kurt from a distance, but suddenly that distance seemed smaller. More importantly, Kurt was watching Blaine, too. Well, watching might be a little strong—acknowledging is probably more accurate. Blaine was probably overreacting. A smile doesn't mean anything except that he's polite, but Blaine swooned every time he and Kurt met eyes.

The weekend couldn't have gone slower. Lord of the Rings couldn't hold his interest and he only spent two hours on World of Warcraft the entire weekend. He spent the rest of the weekend wandering around the house trying to put something in his head other than Kurt. He memorized the names of all the painters of the paintings in his house. He baked four different kinds of cookies and a red velvet cake his mom ended up bringing to her book club meeting. He researched diseases online for a while but stopped once he'd convinced himself he had malaria. By Sunday night he was lying on his living room floor, his legs resting above him on the couch. He was staring at the ceiling fan trying to follow one blade as it went around, thinking about Kurt. He'd given up trying not to think about him. He compromised with himself, though, and decided that it was acceptable to think about Kurt, but only in the form of tutoring him. He struggled to stay concentrated on chemistry, though, and in the end sang the period table of the elements song until he could no longer keep his eyes open.

* * *

><p>Blaine sprang out of bed the moment his alarm went off Monday morning. He had set it an extra half hour early in order to make sure he looked perfect. He had a lot of work to do if he was going to make up for last week. He had picked out his outfit the night before, but still ended up changing it four times. He styled his hair to perfection and stood in front of his mirror. He didn't want to look like he was trying too hard, but he also didn't want to look like he didn't care. He wondered if this is what girls did every morning. He wondered if boys usually did this too. He wondered if he was just a freak.<p>

When Blaine got to school he walked quickly to his locker, hoping to make the day go as quickly as possible. As he rounded the corner, he saw Kurt standing by the door. His heart started pounding as he approached.

"Hey, Kurt. How are you?"

"Blaine, good. I was just making sure you're still helping me this afternoon. I swear chemistry is a second language," Kurt asked, smiling.

"Yeah, I was planning on it." Blaine laughed. "A second language, really?"

"Hey, we can't all be geniuses. I'll see you this afternoon," Kurt said. Blaine watched him go before he entered his classroom.

The day went quickly for Blaine, probably because he didn't pay attention in any of his classes. Instead, he let his mind wander to the upcoming study session.

Finally, Blaine found himself walking into the library, spotting Kurt in the corner just like last week. When he approached, Kurt smiled and gestured toward the seat next to him.

"How was your day?" he asked as Blaine sat.

"It was alright. School's pretty easy I guess. It gets a little boring. How about you?"

Kurt sighed. "Well, it was alright. Most of my subjects are pretty easy too. Mostly I was looking forward to coming here." Blaine froze—had Kurt just said that? That he was looking forward to the study session? He couldn't have been looking forward to studying—was he flirting with Blaine?

Blaine flashed Kurt what he hoped was a flirty smile and said: "Yeah, me too." They both blushed as they refocused their attention on the homework. It took a little bit, but Kurt seemed to have a pretty good handle on the subject, much better than last week anyway. It didn't take long before the subject strayed away from chemistry.

"So, Blaine, what grade are you? I don't remember ever seeing you around before. I would guess you're a freshman except you're in senior math."

"Oh, no, I'm a sophomore. What about you?"

"Junior. Are you in any clubs?"

"No. I usually go home as soon as school is over. I do my homework and play… videogames. You're in glee club, right?"

"Yeah, the New Directions. I'm the most talented person in that club, but Mr. Shue doesn't realize it. He only has eyes for Rachel Berry." Blaine groaned. "What, don't you like Rachel?"

Blaine sputtered—was Kurt friends with her? If he said no would Kurt get mad? What if Kurt didn't like her either, though, because she got all the solos? Blaine decided he'd take his chances with the truth.

"Well, I mean, I don't really know her, but we've shared some classes. I think she's a little…obnoxious." Blaine whispered the last word, scared of Kurt's reaction.

"Oh my god! She totally is! Every time she opens her mouth I want to punch her in the face!" Kurt bounced in his seat, and Blaine sighed with relief. And so the conversation built. First they complained about Rachel, and then they talked about Glee club. Blaine didn't know how long they had been talking before the subject of music came up.

"You've never seen a musical? Blaine! How can… what about… BLAINE!" Kurt seemed truly horrified by Blaine's confession, and Blaine worried that this would end what he thought was a very flirty afternoon. Instead, though, Kurt started talking about all his favorite musicals and why he liked them.

"…because a brush of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets." Blaine looked at the dreamy expression on Kurt's face, and his heart started beating faster once again. Kurt liked romance. Blaine liked romance. Suddenly his head was filled with images of the two of them out on a date, a romantic dinner, maybe a movie, holding hands as they walked down the street. Blaine couldn't stop the blush that formed on his cheeks.

"Blaine, would you like to come to my house on Friday and watch a musical? I can't even begin to comprehend the fact that you've never seen one. We can order pizza, it'll be fun." Blaine wanted to cry with joy. _Kurt__was__inviting__him__over.__On__a__Friday__night._

"Yeah, Kurt. That sounds nice," he responded, hoping he didn't sound as excited as he felt. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Kurt smiled.

"Great. Well I really should go. I have lots of other homework tonight and I have to practice for Glee tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow?" Kurt asked as he packed up his stuff.

"Yeah. See you tomorrow, Kurt."


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine stood outside Kurt's front door, his hand frozen halfway between himself and the doorbell. He took a deep breath, bracing himself to press the button.

"No," he whispered, and dropped his hand to his side. _God,__Blaine,__get__a__hold__of__yourself.__It__'__s__just__a__movie.__It__'__s__just__a__movie._He stuck his hand out again and reached for the bell. He paused halfway before extending his arm suddenly and pressing the button. _This__is__it_, he thought as he heard rustling inside.

"Coming," Kurt said, his voice muffled. Moments later the door opened, and Kurt stood in front of him. Blaine gaped. Kurt was wearing skin tight dark wash jeans with a tight green cardigan layered over an even tighter white v-neck. He looked hot. Blaine exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, hoping Kurt didn't notice his reaction.

"Hi," Blaine said, his voice a little breathy.

"Hi, come on in. I ordered pizza for us and have a few movies picked out for you to choose from. My room is this way." Blaine's heart thudded in his chest as he comprehended Kurt's words. They were going to his room. He didn't know if he was excited or nervous. He was excited to spend time with Kurt, but nervous because he wasn't sure what to expect here. He liked Kurt, but he wasn't sure if Kurt liked him to. And even if he did, Blaine wasn't out yet. To anybody. Did Kurt even know he was gay? And besides, he didn't know anything about relationships.

He was full on panicking by the time they stepped into Kurt's bedroom. He had the pizza set out as well as some glasses and several drink options. There were several DVD's laid out for him to choose. He nearly fell over when he noticed that there was only one piece of furniture in Kurt's room, and that was his bed. Were they both going to be sitting on the bed? Together? Was that allowed? Kurt sat on the bed and gestured for Blaine to join him.

"Okay, so I grabbed _The__Sound__of__Music,__Moulin__Rouge,_ and _Rent_. Which do you want to watch?" he asked. Blaine didn't really know what any of that meant, but he'd heard of _Rent_ before so he chose that one. He sat tensely on the bed as Kurt loaded up the movie, watching as he made his way back. He slid into the spot next to Blaine and picked up the remote. As the movie started, Kurt scooted down and situated himself.

"Blaine," he said, "you can relax. Lean back, get comfortable. I don't bite, I promise."

Blaine forced a chuckle at this and leaned back. He stretched out his legs and rested his back on Kurt's pillows. The bed wasn't very big and the boys' knees ended up touching, as did their arms. Blaine felt himself growing warmer with embarrassment as he watched the apartment owners burn their eviction notices on the screen. He wondered if Kurt noticed the contact and if he was enjoying it as much as he was. Maybe Kurt thought he was doing it on purpose. He didn't want to scoot away, though, because he thought that would seem rude. Perhaps he was just overreacting—again. Blaine distracted himself with the pizza and handed a slice to Kurt. He set the box at the end of the bed for easy access and leaned back again to watch the movie, still touching Kurt.

Eventually Blaine's mind became absorbed by the movie. It was about gay people. Gay people and sex. Blaine hoped Kurt wouldn't think that he picked this movie in order to… suggest anything. He really had no idea this is what it was about. _Oh__god,_he though, _Kurt__'__s__going__to__think__I__'__m__a__freak._ Blaine watched the screen intently, not daring to look at Kurt. If he hadn't been so tense he probably would enjoy the movie more. He actually kind of liked the music, though. It added something to the movie, where he'd always thought singing would take away. He was glad the lights were off when they sang "La Vie Boheme" because blushed deeply through the entire thing. They were so, so, blatant with their sexualities. They were grabbing each other and singing about sex and Blaine was embarrassed. He was less embarrassed, though, when Kurt giggled next to him. Kurt seemed to be enjoying the song and not thinking about what it was saying; he was just enjoying the music. Perhaps he didn't have the same things on his mind as Blaine did. He decided to relax and enjoy the movie.

He wasn't expecting to like musicals that much, but he actually found himself laughing and crying and feeling for these characters once he'd gotten over the initial shock of the subject matter. Kurt sang along with some of the songs, and Blaine got wrapped up in the sound. It was angelic—the most beautiful sound Blaine had ever heard. He wanted to look at Kurt, at the beautiful boy making the beautiful sounds, but he didn't want him to stop. He sat staring at the screen, but not hearing a word they were saying. He didn't think it was possible for him to like this boy even more, but he did. He was so distracted by the sound he couldn't even cry when Angel died, or at the end when they nearly lost Mimi. He probably should have—Kurt did—but how could he cry when his heart was beating so fast? When Kurt's angelic voice made him feel so happy?

Kurt stopped the movie when the credits started to roll and turned to Blaine.

"Sorry I'm such a mess. This movie always gets to me."

"Don't worry about it. It was a really sad ending."

"You didn't cry," Kurt argued.

"You have a beautiful voice."

Blaine froze. Did he just say that out loud? Oh god, that was forward. He blushed furiously. He blushed so hard, in fact, his glasses started to fog up. He took them off quickly and hung his head. He mumbled an apology and scooted off the bed, ready to bolt. Before he did he chanced a look at Kurt. He didn't look angry. He looked really happy. Thrilled, even.

"Th-thank you." It was Kurt's turn to blush. "Anyway," he coughed, "what did you think of the movie?"

"I really liked it. It was a sad ending, yes, but I thought it was funny. I liked the songs. The plot wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but…" he let the sentence trail away.

"Yeah, it's a little, um, sexy, I guess. I like the idea of it though, a bunch of gay people who are actually accepted, y'know? That stuff would never happen here. This musical is one of the reasons I decided I want to go to New York after high school. Well, it got me thinking about it anyway." Blaine let the statement hang in the air as he thought it over. He wanted to go where he would be accepted.

"Kurt, can I ask you a question?" Blaine said quietly.

"Yeah, of course."

"When you, um, when you came out, like, to your dad, was he, um, I mean…" Blaine sputtered. He didn't know how to ask the question, and he didn't know if it was a touchy subject.

"My dad was very understanding. He actually told me he'd known for a long time, since I was about three. I was so scared when I told him. I just spit it out one day after he had come to tell me goodnight. But he is really accepting. I'm really lucky." Blaine started at the fact that Kurt hadn't, in fact, made a big production of it, but somehow it gave him comfort. Kurt had been nervous to tell his dad, and that turned out alright. Kurt hadn't always been as confident as he is now. Maybe someday Blaine would get to where Kurt was.

"Blaine, um, can _I_ ask _you_ a question?" It was Kurt's turn to be nervous. Blaine looked at him and nodded, knowing what was coming next. "Blaine, are you… are you gay?" Blaine felt his heart pound, felt the blood pump through his veins. He could hardly hear his reply over the sound of blood rushing by his ears. He felt himself start to tremble.

"Y-yes," Blaine said. He felt the tears fill up his eyes. _Oh__god,__I__'__m__freaking__out.__Get__a__hold__of__yourself._ But it was too late. "I, Kurt, I haven't, I mean, nobody, I… Kurt, please." Blaine didn't know what he was asking for. Understanding? Encouragement? He didn't know. He felt the tears fall down his face and felt the sobs threatening to escape his body. Kurt was up and by his side in seconds. He wrapped his hands firmly around Blaine and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay, Blaine. I'm here. You're okay." He kept whispering into Blaine's ear as he sobbed. Blaine was beyond speaking at this point, but he willed the tears to disappear. He didn't want Kurt to see him like this, but he was comforted by his embrace.

After what felt like forever, Blaine calmed down. He pulled away from Kurt and wiped his eyes, apologizing.

"No, don't apologize. It's okay. Come here," Kurt said as he pulled Blaine back onto the bed. Blaine laid down next to him, feeling Kurt wrap his arms around his body once again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I, um, yes. It's just I've, I've never told anyone that before. I don't know how my parents will react. They're a little, um, homophobic, and I don't know if they'll be mad or not." Blaine felt small tears still rolling down his cheeks as he spoke. "I want them to accept me. They might, I suppose, my parents love me, I know they do. But I don't know if this will change that or if it will change their beliefs. I'm too scared to find out."

He felt Kurt nod against his head but he didn't say anything, and Blaine was glad. He'd been fighting with himself for a long time and didn't know if anything Kurt said would actually help. He just wanted to talk about it. He already felt so relieved now that somebody knew.

"I know, Blaine," Kurt said eventually, "I understand. I was there once, too. If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you, okay?"

Blaine nodded and wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist. He started crying again, but this time out of relief. Blaine had never felt more grateful in his entire life. He had somebody who understood, somebody who wouldn't push him—somebody who knew.


	5. Chapter 5

The following Monday found Blaine in the cafeteria following Kurt to a table. Kurt had texted him that morning and asked if he wanted to eat with him and some of his friends from New Directions. Blaine agreed immediately, but he was nervous. Blaine had always been a nerd and had never had any friends. He just preferred to be alone most of the time. He was invisible to everybody—most people didn't even know he existed, even the ones with whom he had shared many classes over the years. A part of him had always been grateful for this; he was able to fly under even the jocks' radar and go through his days unscathed. But now he was worried Kurt's friends would find him too weird or too nerdy and would reject him. Or, even worse, they would encourage Kurt to stop hanging out with him. They were pretty much the bottom of the McKinley High food chain, and if even they didn't want to be his friends… Blaine didn't even want to think about it.

So that's how he found himself approaching a table with three other kids whom he'd never met before. He'd seen them around, usually with other members of the glee club, but he'd never spoken to any of them. They looked friendly enough as they laughed at each other and smiled at Kurt as they approached. When they saw Blaine following they looked confused, but only for a moment. A wide grin spread across one girls face and she didn't even wait for Kurt to introduce them.

"Hi. I'm Mercedes," she said as she stuck out her hand.

"Hi, um, Blaine." Blaine shook her hand and sat down next to Kurt. He hoped his smile didn't reveal how nervous he felt.

"I'm Mike, and this is my girlfriend, Tina," the Asian boy—Mike—said. Blaine smiled at them and nodded, and they smiled back.

"So, Blaine, what brings you to our table?" Mike asked. He didn't seem angry, as Blaine would have expected, he only sounded curious.

"Well, I've been tutoring Kurt in chemistry. He invited me."

"Oh, cool! Kurt told us he was struggling with that class. I'm glad he found you," Mike replied, and the three new faces beamed at him. Blaine immediately relaxed. They were really friendly, and they liked him for helping Kurt. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad.

"He told me last week that he had never seen a musical, so he came over on Friday and we watched Rent. Can you believe that? Never. Seen. A musical." Mercedes looked at him with horror before she leaned across towards Kurt, and the two started conspiring about what to show him next. Tina rolled her eyes and looked at Blaine.

"So tell us about yourself, Blaine. What do you like to do? Mike and I are in glee club, obviously, and we study a lot. Mike loves to dance. He's amazing, you should see it," she looked proudly at Mike before turning back to Blaine.

"Yeah, that sounds cool," Blaine smiled. "Well, I also study a lot. I like to watch Lord of the Rings and play World of…play videogames." Blaine blushed at his accidental revelation. Most people frowned upon World of Warcraft and it was not something he wanted to reveal to these new friends.

"Oh. What else?" Mike and Tina seemed totally unfazed.

"Um, well, sometimes I help my mom bake. I don't really have hobbies, I guess. I usually keep to myself." Again Mike and Tina seemed unfazed, as though they liked him no matter what he did after school.

"Have you ever seen the glee club perform?" Mike asked. Mercedes and Kurt stopped talking between them and turned towards Blaine, the questions repeated on their faces.

"Um, no. No, I haven't. Sorry." Blaine shifted uncomfortably. He felt bad. He had never seen them perform and now he'd insulted them. They obviously loved glee club and he didn't know anything about it.

"Yeah, most people in this school haven't, besides our few misguided attempts at assembly performances," the group flinched simultaneously at some memory Blaine didn't know of. "But we're rehearsing in the auditorium this afternoon. We have sectionals in two weeks so we're rehearsing a little more."

"Which reminds me," Kurt interrupted, "I can't meet you after school to work on chemistry. Is tomorrow okay?" Blaine looked at him and agreed, but he was disappointed. He was really looking forward to the shameless flirting in the library.

"You should come watch us rehearse," Mike said, continuing his earlier thought. "We have a really great setlist for the competition. We don't get the auditorium again until next week, so tonight's rehearsal should be really cool."

Blaine's mind wandered back to the stunning voice he had heard on Friday night. He knew Kurt didn't have any solos, but he would give anything to see him perform.

"That sounds awesome. Is that okay?" Blaine asked Kurt, who nodded before blushing and ducking his head. Blaine wondered if he was thinking about Friday night as well.

"Cool, come to the auditorium at four. Just sit out in the seats, and don't be alarmed if Mr. Shuester comes out too."

* * *

><p>Blaine picked a seat in the front section of the auditorium and sat down. He had barely gotten comfortable when he heard voices just off stage.<p>

"Alright guys," a voice said. It sounded like the Spanish teacher. "Just go out there and run through what we've got. I'll see what we're good at and what needs to be changed. You ready, Rachel?" Blaine had nearly forgotten about her.

"I was born ready, Mr. Shue." Blaine rolled his eyes. Mr. Shuester came out from behind the curtain and walked into the audience. He walked right past Blaine and went to the table situated halfway up the rows of chairs. As soon as he had given them the command to go, he heard Rachel's voice. She came slowly out from the side of the stage, singing dramatically. Blaine had to admit she had an amazing voice, but it was nothing compared to Kurt's.

As the song reached its climax the rest of the group came onstage, swaying and harmonizing behind her. Blaine was impressed. He was even more impressed, however, when the song ended and the next one started. This one was upbeat and featured Mercedes with a boy Blaine recognized couldn't quite place, but he recognized the mohawk. The two sounded amazing together, and Mike and a blonde girl danced around them. Tina was right; Mike was an amazing dancer, as was the blonde girl. He sat in amazement as he watched the group. They seemed so happy up there, like they _belonged_ there, and Blaine thought they could win whatever competition with that performance. Who knew what they could do with two more weeks. Then he noticed Kurt. He was in the back dancing with one of the cheerleaders, but he might as well have been alone on stage with the way he stole Blaine's attention. He was glowing with happiness, singing his heart out and dancing effortlessly. Blaine had never seen anyone look so beautiful.

He actually whimpered when the song ended, but started clapping along with Mr. Shue. He stopped, though, when the entire club's attention turned to him. Some of the members looked confused by his presence, and Blaine blushed under their gazes.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "that was really good." Kurt bounded forward and smiled at him.

"Guys, this is Blaine. He's a friend of mine. He'd never seen us perform so Mike invited him to our rehearsal. He's a sophomore here. He's tutoring me in chemistry," Kurt added when the group started to look suspicious. As soon as he mentioned that he was a McKinley student, they relaxed. Blaine figured there was a story there, but he wasn't going to ask now.

"So, Blaine, you liked it?" Mike asked as Mr. Shuester came and stood by him.

"Yeah. You guys sounded good. Your solos were amazing, and that dancing was… I don't even know how you did that. I'm sad it's over." The group smiled and pulled him onstage, gathering him into a hug. He didn't know what to make of it, but he liked the acceptance he found here.

After rehearsal he walked towards the parking lot with Kurt, Mike, Tina, and Mercedes' duet partner, whose name he had learned was Puck.

"So, Blaine," Puck started, "the glee club is having a party at Rachel's place on Friday. You should come."

"Oh, Puck, that's a great idea," Kurt said. He bounced towards Blaine and grabbed his arm. "Blaine, seriously, you should come. It's going to be really fun. They always are, somehow, even when Rachel hosts." Blaine looked around at the hopeful faces and smiled.

"Sure. That sounds awesome," Blaine said. He drove home that night with a smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

The sounds of laughter and music filled Blaine's ears as he made his way down the stairs to Rachel's basement. Kurt and Mercedes were in the corner laughing uncontrollably, each with drinks in their hands, and Artie was the DJ. Quinn was with Puck at the bar, while Brittany and Santana made out on the couch. He hadn't exactly been expecting that, but was intrigued by the fact that nobody seemed to care. On stage were Finn and Rachel, although Finn was just sort of wiggling around. Tina and Mike were nowhere to be found, but Mike's letterman's jacket proved they were there. He assumed they'd found some privacy.

"BLAAINE!" Kurt came tumbling towards him, nearly tripping over the coffee table. "Blaine, you made it! I'm so happy you're here! Puck," he turned towards the jock, "Blaine needs a drink. Make him something tasty!" Blaine was a little nervous about drinking, but he trusted Kurt enough to take the plastic cup Puck offered. He took a sip and crinkled his nose.

"Yuck! That's disgusting!" The group laughed and cheered at Blaine's first drink and encouraged him to keep going. He took another small sip before returning his attention to Kurt.

"Having fun, Kurt?" His entire face was bright red, and his eyes were a little unfocused.

"Yes, yes I am, Blaine. I got here early to help setup. We've been drinking for a while. You've got some catching up to do. But only if you want to," Kurt added when he saw Blaine hesitate. His words were slurred and his movements sloppy. Blaine worried. He didn't want to get in trouble, and he certainly didn't want anyone else to get in trouble either, especially not Kurt. But he wasn't going to be the one to bring down everyone's fun. He would suffer through this glass, but then he'd be done.

"You look really nice, Blaine," Kurt said, a wide smile on his face.

"Thanks, you too." And it wasn't a lie. Kurt was wearing the tightest black pants Blaine had ever seen. He had on a bright blue button up and Sperry's. As usual, his hair was styled to perfection. Add the flush of alcohol to that and Blaine didn't think he'd ever seen Kurt look so hot. He swallowed uncomfortably and broke eye contact with Kurt. The other members didn't know he was gay and, although Kurt promised he wouldn't tell, Blaine didn't want there to be any drunken slip ups tonight. He didn't think he was ready for them to know. He made his way over to Mercedes, Kurt following.

"Hey, new boy. Having fun?" She giggled as Kurt plopped down next to her.

"Yeah, actually. Everybody else seems to be having a pretty good time, too."

"I told you Rachel's parties were fun!" Kurt threw his arms up triumphantly, only to fall off the couch. Blaine reached to help him, but he got up himself, laughing the whole way. Blaine smiled and took another drink.

"Yeah, you did."

"Spin the bottle!" Cheers erupted as Santana held up an empty wine bottle. Blaine panicked. There was no way.

"Um, Kurt, is it okay if I sit this one out. Y'know, just watch?"

Kurt smiled. "Of course, Blaine! You can do whatever you want. It's a party!"

Taking another sip of his drink, Blaine settled on the couch behind the group. Nobody questioned him or gave him any sideways glances, and he was glad for it. He relaxed behind them as the game started. First, Rachel spun, and the bottle landed on Finn. She squealed and he smiled, but the rest of the group groaned.

"Boring!" Artie shouted.

Next was Brittany, and her spin landed on Mike. Their lips had barely touched before Tina was pulling him away, shouting at Brittany to stay away from her man. Santana spun and it landed on Kurt. Blaine held his breath.

"Come here, teen gay." Santana grabbed Kurt's collar and yanked him forward, crashing their lips together. Kurt giggled, but didn't object as Santana slid her tongue in his mouth. Blaine sat mesmerized. He had never seen anyone make out before. It looked really nice, he thought. Complicated, but nice. He decided this is what he wanted to do to Kurt whenever he saw him in those tight clothes at school. He wanted to pull him into a corner and kiss him. He wanted to feel Kurt's tongue…

He stopped his train of thought and tore his eyes away. He didn't know if anyone noticed him staring, but he hoped they hadn't. He brought his cup to his lips and took a few long drinks, his eyes scanning the ceiling.

"My turn," Mercedes said. Santana winked at Kurt as she pulled away. He winked back and then collapsed into a fit of giggles. Blaine released the breath he had been holding and laughed as Mercedes and Puck kissed. By the end of the first round Blaine had finished his drink and was feeling comfortably warm. The drink relaxed him, and he felt a little more social. Not quite make-out-with-practical-strangers social, but not quite as anxious, either.

Finally the game ended and Kurt and Mercedes jumped on the stage, picking up the microphones. Blaine watched in anticipation as the music started: Judas, by Lady Gaga. Blaine had heard all about Kurt's slight obsession with the woman, and he didn't know why he was surprised he picked this song. He was surprised, however, when Mercedes took over the song after the first verseAnd Kurt put down his microphone. Blaine felt himself frown, but it quickly disappeared when Kurt started dancing. Blaine couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight. Kurt danced around the stage with such confidence, as if there _wasn__'__t_ a room full of people watching. Blaine would never dare do such a thing.

Kurt stepped to the front of the stage and started moving his hips. He moved them in circles, even thrusting a little, and Blaine stopped breathing. Brittany joined him onstage and the two dropped low, sticking out their asses. Blaine didn't even know that was physically possible, but it was the hottest thing he had ever seen. He sat with wide eyes as Kurt and Brittany danced on stage. When they started grinding up on each other he took off his thick-rimmed glasses and pretended to clean them on his shirt. The whole thing was incredibly hot and left him incredibly uncomfortable. He didn't know what to do with himself; he had never seen anything like this in his life. He didn't want anybody to catch on to what he was thinking, especially not Kurt. He still wasn't sure if Kurt liked him or not, and he didn't want to send him running. The others would figure out he was gay if he kept staring, so he rubbed the lenses with the hem of his shirt. He didn't think they'd been this clean in months.

"Did you like it?" Kurt asked as he and Mercedes approached.

"Y-yeah, it was really h—good. It was good. You guys are good." The two laughed and looked pleased that he liked it. They went and got more drinks as Blaine watched Quinn and Puck take the stage. The rest of the night passed in a blur of booze, singing, and yelling. Mike and Tina disappeared shortly after Kurt and Mercedes' performance, but they made it back to the room as everybody crashed. They were cuddling on the couch, and Finn and Rachel had crept away to her room. Artie, Brittany, and Santana slept on the stage, Kurt and Mercedes on the floor. Quinn and Puck were behind the bar again. Blaine wasn't used to staying up so late and had therefore fallen asleep long before the party ended. They almost drew on him, but decided against it because it was his first party. They wanted him to come back next time, after all.


	7. Chapter 7

The smell of coffee filled the air as Blaine and Kurt stepped in to Kurt's favorite coffee shop, the Lima Bean. Kurt groaned at the loud noises of chatter, blenders, and shouted coffee orders.

"Remind me to never ever drink again, okay? Or at least to do it smartly, like you." Blaine laughed sympathetically as Kurt's features scrunched.

"Will do. What'll it be? My treat," he said as they approached the register. "I'll have a medium coffee and…"

"Grande non-fat mocha," Kurt added. "Thanks, Blaine." The two got their coffees and headed for a table in the back. Blaine had surprisingly never been in a coffee shop; he'd never seen the point. His parents had coffee and a machine at home—why pay so much for something he could get for free? He looked around the café, surprised at what he saw. There were couples sitting shoulder to shoulder, college students who looked like they'd had a rougher night that Kurt, some elderly people, and some who were engrossed in their laptops or books. This place had all kinds of people—coffee shop culture, or so he'd heard. He took a sip of the coffee and was amazed. It really was so much better than what he had at home. He thought he was going to need to get a job.

"Was last night your first party, Blaine?" Kurt asked and took a sip of his drink.

"Um, yes." Blaine blushed. He was in high school, for goodness sakes. He should be partying all the time, he should be drinking all the time, and he certainly should have been drunk at least once in his life by now, right? He didn't want Kurt to think he was a loner. He was a loner, of course, but he didn't think Kurt realized the full extent of it.

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Kurt said. "I should have asked. That was probably really uncomfortable for you, huh? It got a little out of control last night…"

"Kurt, no, please don't worry about it. I actually had fun. It was different, yes, and a little overwhelming at first, but I honestly had a good time."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Kurt," Blaine laughed, "I'm sure."

"You're not just lying to make me feel better, are you?"

"No, Kurt. Stop worrying. I knew you would watch out for me." Kurt smiled and looked down at his hands. The two sat in silence as they sipped on their drinks. The coffee seemed to be helping Kurt, who was no longer wincing at every noise. Blaine thought he looked much happier now than he had ten minutes ago. He learned a long time ago that coffee was God's gift to mankind, so he wasn't at all surprised at its hangover-healing powers.

"So, you and Santana," Blaine teased after a few minutes.

"Oh, god. Me and Santana," Kurt groaned. "I totally forgot about that." He let his head thump on the table and Blaine could see the blush creeping up his neck. It was attractive, he thought. "Somehow she and I always end up making out at parties. I don't know why, I mean, I'm gay! I'm not even attracted to her. And every time she asks if we can have sex. The woman is determined, I swear."

"To have, um, to do… _that_ with you? Why?"

"Oh, I can never remember. Drunken Santana just wants to sleep with a gay or something like that. I don't know." Blaine took a sip as he mulled this over in his head. So Santana, the promiscuous cheerleader, wanted to do_that_ with Kurt whenever she was drunk. And making out at parties was a—_thing_—that they did. And Kurt, he just brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. Was it not a big deal? Or was it that she was a girl? Was glee _that_ kind of club? Was Kurt _that_ kind of guy? Because if so, Blaine was in way over his head. Kurt wouldn't want some fumbling virgin when he could get his, um, _fun_ elsewhere. Oh god, Kurt was so much more experienced than Blaine. Kurt was a 10. He was funny, smart, sassy, gorgeous, and _experienced_. Blaine was, like, a two. He was smart, but _too_smart. He was quiet and shy and didn't know how to talk to people. He wasn't that good looking, and even if he was it would be hidden behind his glasses and his damned triangle eyebrows. Blaine could tell you the exact angle of his eyebrows, what kind of triangles they were, and how to solve for _x_ if he had two of their measurements. What he couldn't tell you, though, is what it felt like to kiss somebody, or what the _hell_ you're supposed to do with your tongue when you did. He felt like he'd spent his whole life learning the wrong things.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, snapping him out of his reverie. "Have you ever kissed anybody?" Blaine never answered. Instead he blushed to the tips of his ears. If he had looked down at his arms, they probably would have been red, too.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I've never kissed anybody besides Santana. Maybe that's her deal, she likes the idea of taking peoples' firsts…" Kurt trailed off.

"Really? Never?" Blaine asked. "I thought you'd have kissed a lot of guys." Kurt looked at him, and Blaine thought he saw a flash of anger. "It's just that, I mean, you're so, so…_confident_. You walk around McKinley like you own the place, and even when people are mean to you, you just keep on going. And you're _beautiful_, Kurt. Your eyes and your…" Blaine's hand flew to his mouth as he registered the words that were leaking out and he looked at Kurt. Kurt's eyes were huge, his body frozen, his face blank.

"I, um. S-sorry. I should just…go." Blaine stood up hastily and ran out of the shop. Embarrassed tears filled his eyes as he crossed the parking lot. _Dang__it,__Blaine.__You__are__so__stupid!__You__should__have__just__kept__your__mouth__shut.__Now__Kurt__is__going__to__think__you__'__re__some__creepy__—_

"Blaine! Wait!" He picked up his pace. He didn't want to talk to Kurt, to face the rejection. If he had never agreed to tutor him none of this would be happening. _Oh__god,__and__he__knows__that__I__'__m_gay_.__He__'__s__going__to__tell__the__whole__school__I__'__m__some__…__some__… __predatory__gay__or__something._Hot tears were streaking his face by the time he reached the abandoned pond behind the lot.

"Blaine, please wait! Listen to me!" Blaine felt an arm on his, pulling him, begging him to stop.

"What Kurt?" Blaine spun, the hurt in his eyes evident. "What do you want? An apology? Because I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I agreed to tutor you and I'm sorry that I came to your stupid party and I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted." His breath shuttered as he tried to hold in his tears. If Kurt was going to do this, to reject him, he didn't get to see how it made Blaine feel. "Just leave me alone."

"Blaine, wait. Look, I'm sorry too, okay? You just surprised me back there, is all," he reached out and grabbed Blaine's arm. When Blaine finally looked at his face, he saw that Kurt looked just as scared and hurt as he did.

"I just," Kurt lowered his arm and looked at his shoes, "nobody has ever said those things to me before."

"Nobody? Why?" Kurt chuckled and let his eyes meet Blaine's.

"Blaine, I've never had a boyfriend. I don't know the first thing about relationships or sex or any of that stuff. You said I walk through McKinley like I own the place, like the bullies don't get to me, but that place terrifies me, Blaine. People are cruel and they get me down. They see me as 'the gay kid' and that's all I am. They don't think I'm beautiful," he whispered, his head hanging once again.

"I do."

Blaine watched Kurt blush, and it was even better than last time; this time, he had made it happen.

"You said you're not what I wanted, but you _are_, Blaine. You're exactly who I want. You're charming and smart and kind. You're shy and quiet, but I can tell there's a really cool guy in there if he'd give himself a chance."

Blaine didn't know what to say. Kurt wanted him? Kurt thought he was charming? Kurt wanted him—did he mention that? There were so many thoughts swirling in his head, so many emotions. He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry or build Kurt a castle. This was beyond anything he had ever let himself imagine. The boy of his dreams was standing right in front of him, telling him he wanted to be with him. The smile that appeared on his face was bigger than any he could remember. Heck, it was probably bigger than any smile ever.

Unable to come up with any response, Blaine just stared. He watched as Kurt's arm started to rise, and his heart started pounding when he felt it rest on the back of his neck. Kurt took a step forward. When he looked down at Blaine's lips, the entire world went quiet. His breath quickened as Kurt moved ever so slowly towards his lips.

Blaine had always found it cheesy when people said kissing was like fireworks, but now he understood. The feeling of Kurt's lips on his was amazing—the best feeling ever, he thought. This was magical. This was better than Sam and Frodo getting rescued after throwing the ring in the fire. This was better than finishing a quest on World of Warcraft. Blaine vowed then and there to never play the game again if it meant he got to do this more. This was perfect.

When Kurt finally broke the kiss, Blaine stood in a daze, eyes shifting from Kurt's eyes to his lips. His legs felt wobbly and his breath was uneven. He could only pull himself together enough to grin up at Kurt, who smiled back, took Blaine's hand, and walked them slowly back to the car.

"Hey, Blaine?" Kurt said, his voice light and happy.

"Yeah?"

"Your eyes are beautiful too."


	8. Chapter 8

15 days.

That's how long it's been since Kurt kissed Blaine by the pond. That's how long it's been since they started whispering the word "boyfriends" into each others' ears. That's how long they've been stealing glances at each other in the hallway, or letting their pinkies brush as they study together in the library. That's how long it takes before Blaine meets Burt Hummel.

Kurt insisted Blaine come over one night to eat dinner and watch another musical and Blaine had of course agreed. He'd really liked _Rent_ and he wanted to see more. Besides, they were really important to Kurt, and Blaine new that. He wanted to make Kurt happy, and if all it took was hanging out with him—alone—in his bedroom, then _of__course_ Blaine was going to agree. He hoped they would kiss some more; he really liked that part.

He didn't realize at first that going over to Kurt's meant meeting his father, and he panicked a little when the realization struck him. What if Burt didn't like him? What if he thought he was too awkward or too nerdy. What if he didn't think Blaine was good enough for Kurt? What if he didn't think Kurt should date a kid who isn't even out to his own parents?

_Oh_, Blaine thought, _I__'__m__not__out__yet._He knew Kurt would never out him, even to his own father, and Blaine immediately relaxed. He wouldn't be judged as the new boyfriend, just the new friend. If he could get on Burt's good side while still in the "friend" category, then he surely wouldn't mind the two dating, right?

So that night Blaine shook off his nerves, put on his friendliest smile, and followed Kurt into his living room. He had brought a batch of peanut butter no-bake cookies with him, and most certainly _not_ to win Burt over. It's polite, Blaine told himself, and he thought Kurt would approve of these more than regular cookies considering his dad's heart. It was just oatmeal and peanut butter, Blaine reasoned (he chose to disregard the sugar and butter). Besides, peanut butter had protein. These were healthy.

Kurt grabbed the cookies out of his hand as he introduced Blaine to his father.

"Dad, this is my friend Blaine. Blaine, this is my dad." Burt stood from his chair and crossed the living room, stretching out a hand towards Blaine.

"It's nice to meet you, Blaine. I've heard a lot about you. I appreciate you tutoring Kurt here. He was really struggling," he said, and Blaine thought it must have been true because it was always the first thing anybody mentioned when Kurt introduced them.

"It's nice to meet you too, sir."

"You can call me Burt, kiddo. We're not that formal here." Burt smiled and Blaine felt himself relax.

"Thank you, Burt." The three men headed into the kitchen, where there was already a meal set out and waiting for them. Grilled chicken, salad, carrots, potatoes—everything Blaine looked for in a meal. His stomach growled in anticipation. Blaine clapped a hand over his stomach and blushed, but the two Hummel's just chuckled and sat down. Blaine found the empty seat and scooped the food on his plate as it was handed to him. He was grateful to be the last one served—he had always been taught to wait until everyone has been served to start eating, which sometimes led to awkward moments at others' houses, especially informal ones like this one. His house was formal enough that they all waited at every meal, and he and his mother never took a bite until after his father did. Tonight, both Hummels were digging in by the time he had scooped the potatoes on his plate, and he was glad for it. He liked this way much better, he thought.

It was the easiest meal Blaine had ever sat through. Kurt and Burt not only talked about their days, they were _interested_ in what was going on in each others' lives. They laughed at each others' stories and told ones of their own. Blaine sat back in his chair just watching what was unfolding in front of him. He couldn't believe it; he had no idea families like this even existed. He'd seen it on TV, but he always thought it was just that—TV. And here it was in front of him. Blaine had never been unhappy with his home life necessarily, but it was certainly not this. Home was stiff and formal; this was warm and inviting. He knew his parents loved him and were proud of his achievements, but they had a standard to live up to, and that standard didn't allow for close family bonding. They just happily existed in each others' lives.

Burt eventually turned the conversation to Blaine, which both surprised and intimidated him. It was always the same dilemma—tell the truth and risk being disliked, or lie to be liked, but risk them finding out later. He'd been making this decision a lot since Kurt came into his life. He'd always chosen honesty and so far it had worked for him, so he chose it with Burt as well. He asked him about his parents, about school, about what he likes to do. Blaine hates these questions, especially the one about what he does for fun. How do you tell somebody your favorite hobby is shutting yourself in your bedroom to play an online game with strangers? How do you tell somebody you know all the words to all the Lord of the Rings movies but have no idea which teams are going to the Super Bowl? For a moment, Blaine wished he'd stayed home tonight. His nerd cave was sounding really good right about now.

Burt didn't seem to mind his answers, though. He just nodded and smiled and even asked a few questions when he didn't understand something. Blaine found himself wondering how a father like this existed, and if Kurt knew how lucky he was to have him. Blaine never felt like he was being interrogated by the man, it just felt like a conversation. And when dinner ended and Burt said "well, you sound like a good guy, Blaine. I hope to see you around some more," Blaine had to look down at the floor so they couldn't see the emotions in his eyes: shock, relief, happiness. He realized he was probably being rude, however, so he looked back up and smiled at Burt.

"Thank you, Burt. I hope to be around more." Kurt grinned widely at this (though behind his father's back) and lead Blaine out of the kitchen and to his room.

"Your dad is amazing, Kurt. He's really nice." Blaine hoped the awe in his voice wasn't as evident as he thought it was, but Kurt must have heard it because he looked at him with a face Blaine couldn't quite recognize. He quickly smiled, though, and put _Chicago_in the DVD player.

"Yeah, he is." Kurt looked thoughtful at this, and Blaine let him ponder while the two snuggled under a blanket and got ready for the movie.

If Blaine liked Rent, then he _really_ liked Chicago. It was dark and funny and big. The music was different than the last; it was more of what he'd expected when he'd first heard the term "musical." He loved the dancing. They definitely didn't do that stuff in _Rent_. This had huge musical numbers with a bunch of dancers, lights, costumes, and choreography. He couldn't peel his eyes away from the screen, and he just knew he was going to have "Cell Block Tango" stuck in his head for a week, even if he didn't know the words. He'd have to ask Kurt for the soundtrack. And Kurt. Oh, Kurt. He was singing again, and it was the only thing that could break Blaine's concentration. He loved that sound. He'd never hear enough of it, even if Kurt sang to him every day for the rest of their lives.

Blaine frowned when the movie was over, earning a laugh from Kurt.

"You're cute when you pout, you know that?" he asked, his fingers playing with the collar of Blaine's shirt.

"Yeah?" Blaine replied, his heart starting to race.

"Yeah." Kurt closed the distance between their lips, and Blaine sighed. He'd been looking forward to this all day and finally—finally—he was kissing Kurt. His hand moved to Kurt's waist (of its own volition, of course. No way did Blaine put it there), and Kurt's hand flattened, pressing against his chest. Suddenly, Blaine felt Kurt's tongue on his lips. _Oh__god_, _please__let__this__be__okay,__please__let__this__be__okay,__please,__please,__please_ Blaine begged to no one in particular as he parted his lips for Kurt. He remembered how complicated this had looked when Kurt and Santana were doing it, and he hoped he could do it well. He wanted Kurt to enjoy it. Then Kurt's tongue was in his mouth and do you know what? This was even better than the kiss by the pond. Blaine couldn't help the gasp that escaped him, but Kurt didn't seem to mind.

Blaine thought they spent hours like this, but it still wasn't enough when it came time for him to go home. He moped as he went down the stairs and out the door, even with Kurt holding his hand the whole way. They said goodbye with a peck on the lips and the promise that they'd do this again soon.


	9. Chapter 9

_Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone._

_Of course you are, and I'm going with you._

Kurt giggled at this, and Blaine smiled, glad he was enjoying the movie. After finding out Kurt had never seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Blaine invited him over to watch it. He almost expected Kurt to roll his eyes or put up a fight, but he had just smiled and said _I__'__d__love__to._ They even invited the rest of the New Directions, and the group was now seated around Blaine's giant media room.

Of course Blaine was nervous about it because Kurt would finally begin to witness how nerdy Blaine actually was, but he was also excited about it—because Kurt would finally begin to witness how nerdy Blaine actually was. He _wanted_ Kurt to know this side of him. In the weeks that they'd been together, Kurt had never given him a reason not to trust him. Kurt loved how smart Blaine was, and always squeezed his hand and smiled whenever something would slip out of his mouth. He didn't feel scared about showing this side of himself to Kurt, at least not as scared as he had been. He trusted Kurt. He didn't care as much about what the rest of the group thought, but the fact that they accepted the invitation eased his mind considerably.

Blaine never had people over before this, so the room seemed to him to be in a state of chaos. There were empty pizza boxes everywhere, along with bowls of chips and popcorn. He had spent the entire day baking treats for them in his kitchen—it was a bit of a nervous habit. He had dipped pretzels and made cookies. He made spinach dip and mozzarella balls. He made some guacamole, too, but Santana had taken that as soon as she arrived and it hadn't left her hands since. Everyone was coupled off, cuddling and kissing and whispering to each other. Even the single kids in the group had coupled off with each other. The only two not cuddling were Kurt and Blaine, and Blaine wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Kurt while he watched his favorite movie for the first time. He wanted to feel him tense when the Ringwraiths appeared, he wanted Kurt to squeeze his hand when he got scared. Mostly he wanted to cuddle with him and enjoy it like everybody else. He paused the movie.

"Guys, I'm gay," he blurted, his voice shaking. There. It was out. The hard part was over. He had Kurt, who would stand by him no matter what the rest of the group said.

"Oh, cool," Finn said.

"Whatever, bro. Doesn't matter to us," Puck added, looking around at the group.

"Yeah, we think you're cool, Blaine. We don't care if your gay or not," Tina said, and the rest of the group mumbled their agreements.

Blaine looked at Kurt, who was smiling at him. A silent conversation passed between them before Kurt spoke up.

"We're together. We have been since the day after Rachel's party." The girls squealed in excitement and the boys nodded, the closer ones patting them on their backs. It was Mike who ended the moment:

"Dude, turn the movie back on, Frodo's about to get it!" Everyone quieted and turned back to the giant screen and Blaine hit play. As tears filled his eyes, he scooted over and pulled Kurt to him. They snuggled together on the bean bag, their hands held firmly together, their legs intertwined. He breathed a sigh of relief into Kurt's hair and let the tears fall silently. They had accepted him, and they had accepted him and Kurt. They were _happy_ they were together. He didn't think he would ever forget the look on Mercedes' face when Kurt said it. She looked so happy, proud even.

Most importantly, Kurt was happy. Blaine saw the smile on his face as he pulled him closer. He felt bad that he had made Kurt keep it a secret for so long, but he was grateful that he did. He was grateful that Kurt had given him the time he needed, would continue to need, to figure everything out. He was grateful Kurt accepted how nerdy he was, and would even willingly participate in it. He was grateful Kurt had introduced him to such great people. He was grateful to these people for letting him into their little group. He was grateful that they liked him and accepting who he was, both gay _and_ nerdy. He was so grateful for the last two months of his life and all the amazing changes that they had brought.

When the movie over, everybody groaned.

"What? But Blaine, what about the ring? That wasn't an ending! Blaine?" Mike shouted. He had gotten very into this movie.

"Well it's a series. There are two more movies," he explained, reveling in the panicked faces around him.

"Next weekend," Quinn stated, "we watch number two." Everyone nodded in agreement and started picking up. All too soon they were walking out of his front door, leaving him to take Kurt home.

Blaine hasn't even started the engine when Kurt asks the question Blaine knows he's been dyingto ask all night.

"What made you tell them, Blaine? Why then?" He looked at Kurt and saw the pride in his eyes. He smiled, but refused to let it show that _that_ particular look had turned Blaine into goo.

"Honestly? I wanted to snuggle with you. They all got to and I wanted to, too. I knew you'd stick up for me if they took it badly, but I didn't expect them too. Plus the lights were off, so I wouldn't have to actually look them in the eyes when I said it." Blaine looked sheepishly at Kurt, hoping he wouldn't judge his reasoning. He didn't, of course. This was _Kurt_ he was talking to.

"And how did it feel?"

"Amazing. I'm so relieved. And so happy. You have really great friends, Kurt. Thanks for introducing me."

"Well, I thought they deserved to know you. You're pretty great yourself, you know." Blaine couldn't respond. His eyes were once again filled with tears. How did Kurt always know exactly what to say to him?

"Thanks," he finally choked out. Kurt grabbed his hand and then leaned his head against the window, deep in thought.

"Kurt," Blaine said once he had calmed down, "what are you thinking about?" Kurt hesitated. He squeezed Blaine's hand and sat up, opening and shutting his mouth several times. He finally sighed and turned to face Blaine.

"Have you thought any more about telling your parents?" Blaine looked over at him, then back to the road. He didn't know what to say. The truth was that _yes_ he had thought about it. He thought about it all the time. He didn't like hiding this from them, and he didn't like making Kurt hide it. Now the New Directions knew and would have to keep it a secret, too. He wanted to tell them _so__much_, but he was scared. He had always worked so hard to make his parents proud of him and he didn't want his sexuality to tear it all down. The reaction his new friends had was definitely encouraging, but they already knew someone who was gay, two if he was right about Santana. Rachel had gay freaking parents, so of course she doesn't care. They'd all been exposed to it. His parents hadn't. Blaine's inner battle was getting nowhere.

"I want to," Blaine said, his voice shaking, "more than anything I want to tell them, but I'm scared, Kurt. What if they hate me for it? I don't want that. I love my parents and I don't want to lose them." He ripped his hand from Kurt's and wiped the tears of his face before gripping the steering wheel with both hands. He breathed deeply—_in,__out,__in__out _. He kept repeating this to himself. He wasn't going to have another breakdown about this in front of Kurt, and especially not after having such a good night. Kurt was sitting quietly beside him, watching him worriedly as he fought to keep himself together.

"It's okay, Blaine. I understand. Whatever you want to do I'll support you, you know that, right?" Blaine nodded. "Good. Whenever you're ready to tell them is fine. I know how hard it is to have to hide who you are, but I also know how scary it is not knowing what's going to happen."

"Do you think I should?"

"It's not up to me. This has to be your decision, and you should only tell them when you're comfortable."

"But I want your opinion, Kurt, before I make my decision. Do you think I should tell them?" The words came out a little harsher than he'd intended, but he was panicking and Kurt knew it, so he let it slide.

"Yes, I think you should. I think it will be a big weight off your chest and I think you'll be happier for it. I think that, until you tell them, you'll be stuck in this same point in your life and I think that once you tell them, no matter how they react, you'll be able to move forward. But if you don't think you're ready then I respect that."

Blaine mulled this over for a few minutes. It actually kind of made sense. He did feel stuck, like he'd been hanging in the void space for a while. Even if his parents rejected him, kicked him out, he'd be able to move forward. He'd leave and make his own life somehow. He did have some money in the bank that his parents couldn't touch. And if they accepted him, well, there would be no trouble and he'd still leave the void space. He had Kurt, he had the glee kids, he thought he might have Burt, too. If Burt accepted Kurt for being gay, and if Burt liked Blaine, then there was no reason he wouldn't accept Blaine for being gay, too. He wasn't alone anymore. If he fell into some deep pit of despair, he'd have people there to help pull him out.

He relaxed his grip on the steering wheel and took one final, calming breath. He wiped the tears from his face and turned to his boyfriend, who was patiently sitting in his seat, never pushing for an answer.

"Kurt," he said, and Kurt turned to face him, "I'm going to tell them. I'm going to come out. Officially."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Hey guys. This chapter was a tough one (due to the length and emotion), but I think it turned out well. Please let me know what you think. Also, although I'm hoping to crank a bunch out of Thanksgiving break, finals are rapidly approaching, so please be patient if the updates slow down. Thanks for the reviews, you guys are so nice to me! I walk around campus with the biggest smile on my face whenever I think about your comments.

* * *

><p>The next two days were a blur of nerves and confusion. He wanted to tell his parents, he really did, but he didn't know how. Every time Blaine stood in the same room with them his hands started shaking, his throat closed off, and sweat came dripping down his face. He went through three shirts on Saturday alone (something he vowed to never tell his boyfriend about). He didn't want to blurt it out the way he had with the glee kids; he thought his parents deserved more than that.<p>

Kurt never pushed the subject either—they hadn't talked about once. In fact, they had barely talked at all. Blaine just really needed to be alone with his thoughts right now. He needed to sit in his bedroom and stare at the wall thinking, thinking, _thinking_ about what he was planning to do, how he would do it, when he would do it. He didn't complete a single chore all weekend. He started his homework, but put it down two math problems later. Who cares about pre calc when he's planning on _coming __out __to __his __parents_. No matter how many times he'd come back to his work, he didn't finish it. He tried cleaning his room, but only got as far as putting some of the clothes on his floor in the hamper before he just had to pace. He sat down to WoW but it all just seemed so insignificant. He had to move. Back and forth he paced in his bedroom. Up and down the halls. He sat. He stood. He decided. He changed his mind. Out the door. In. Back, forth. Back and forth, back and forth until he couldn't take it anymore. He crawled into bed willing sleep to come. It didn't. Stomach, back, side, stomach. Sit up. Lay down.

_Breathe, Blaine. _

He hadn't slept a wink by the time his alarm went off, and he knew he looked like hell. He felt like hell. He threw on jeans and a t-shirt—a far cry from his usual bowtie and button up—and went to the bathroom. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked pale. He ran a comb through his hair but didn't bother to gel it. His coffee was tasteless and his breakfast felt like cardboard in his mouth. He only took three bites. His mother gave him a disapproving look, but Blaine didn't care. Today she'd scold his appearance—what would she be scolding a week from now? _If __only __she __knew __what __was __going __to __happen_, Blaine thought. _Her __world __is __going __to __change __this __week __and __she __has __no __idea._He almost felt bad for her. Almost.

He couldn't even play it cool at school that day. He turned in unfinished homework and every single teacher looked at him with worry in their eyes. He told them he'd been sick. They bought it. _Idiots._ He hardly spoke to anybody, hardly looked at anybody. He barely touched his food at lunch, even with the concerned looks his new friends were shooting him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kurt shake his head, silently telling them not to ask. It was a small action, barely noticeable, but it made him feel bad. Well, worse.

Kurt was amazing. Having to hide his relationship from his father musts have been hard on him—he and his dad had an amazing relationship, one Blaine would envy until the day he died, and he didn't think Kurt had ever lied to him before. Not like this, anyway. But Kurt never complained. He felt Kurt squeeze his hand under the table and then quickly pull it away. He was helping Blaine. He was protecting Blaine. He never drew any attention to their relationship at school, or any public place for that matter. He wanted Blaine to stay invisible, didn't want him to endure the things he had to. If that meant he couldn't hold his hand at school then so be it. Kurt gave and gave and Blaine thought that all he did was take. Blaine looked at Kurt. He looked at the way his hands moved as he spoke. He looked at his perfect skin—Porcelain, the cheerleading coach had called him. She was right. Kurt's arms were muscular under his shirt, but somehow still soft. They looked strong, but the kind of strong that could hold a person tight, not punch a person out. His shoulders were broad, leading to his perfect neck. Blaine wanted to kiss that neck, leave marks on that skin. He looked at Kurt's chestnut hair, always styled so perfectly. Blaine wanted to run his fingers through it, but didn't dare. Kurt might kill him if he did.

Blaine would never get over the color of Kurt's eyes. Were they blue? Grey? Were they a dream? They were the color of the ocean, the color of the sky, the color of heaven. He could stare into them all day. What Blaine liked the best about Kurt, though, were his lips. They were so red, so soft. So kissable. Blaine loved the feeling of them against his mouth. He had never liked anything more than he liked kissing Kurt. He felt so loved when they kissed, so wanted. He had always been alone, but when Kurt kissed him he felt like he'd never be alone again. Like everything he ever wanted was his.

Take, take, take.

What had he ever given Kurt besides a secret to keep and a lie to tell? He'd have to do better for Kurt. He wanted to give him everything. He needed to tell his parents. _Get __over __yourself, __Anderson. __Just __do __it._

But he couldn't. He crawled in bed that night with angry tears sliding down his face. He was so weak. What did Kurt even see in him? He remembered what Kurt had said to him that day by the pond, that he thought there was a cool person in him if he'd give himself a chance. He hated himself for letting Kurt down. He picked up his phone and sent him a text:

**I****couldn****'****t****do****it.****I****'****m****sorry.**

He got out of bed and paced some more. On Friday he'd been so sure he wanted to tell his parents. He was still sure—why couldn't he just do it? His phone beeped.

** It's okay, baby. Whenever you're ready. XO**

Blaine collapsed on his bed. The sobs he'd been holding back rushed out of him. His whole body shook and he wrapped his arms around himself. He buried his face in his pillow so his parents wouldn't hear. He screamed.

Kurt was so understanding, so patient. He let Blaine think and worry and overanalyze, all the while gently encouraging him. Kurt deserved the best of everything because he _was_ the best of everything. And Blaine was pathetic. He could never give Kurt what he deserved.

The sleep Blaine got that night was scattered between nightmares he couldn't remember upon waking. He felt exhausted. His whole body was shaking. With fear? Fatigue? Anticipation? Blaine couldn't tell. He looked even worse than yesterday. He felt even worse than yesterday. Once again, he hadn't done his homework. Once again his teachers believed him when he said he was ill.

Kurt was worried. All of New Directions was worried; he could see it in their eyes. They were his friends. They knew, they accepted him. They were keeping him together and they didn't even know it. All they knew was that something was wrong. They didn't know how to help. Blaine couldn't do this to them. He pulled Kurt aside after lunch.

"Kurt, can we go to the Lima Bean after school today? I want to talk."

"Of course. I'll meet you at your locker," Kurt said, relief in his eyes. _Good, __Blaine. __Give._He felt proud of himself for asking Kurt for help. He never asked for help, he never needed it. He needed it now, though, he knew that, so he asked. It was both give and take, but it was a start.

* * *

><p>Blaine ran his fingers up and down his cup of coffee, staring blankly at the table. Kurt sat across from him, patiently waiting for him to speak. How can anybody have this much patience? Finally Blaine looked over at him and began.<p>

"I want to tell my parents, Kurt. I _need_ to tell them. I just don't know how. Every time I get in a room with them I start to panic and I chicken out. And I'm freaking out because I want to tell them but I'm scared, but then I just get angry with myself for being so _pathetic_ so then I get even more worked up and I, just, I don't know what to do!"

"You're not pathetic, Blaine, don't even say that." Kurt said. "Now, are you sure you're ready to tell them?"

"Yes. I want them to know, I want to stop lying and hiding it from everybody. It's exhausting and I'm sick of it."

"Then it sounds like we need to make a plan. Together. A checklist, like the ones you're always making. Then you just need to check off each step as you go."

"You're amazing, Kurt," Blaine whispered. How did he understand him so well?

"I know, I can't help it. Now, when do you want to do it? Pick a day." Blaine pondered for a moment. Today was Tuesday, and he definitely wanted to tell his parents by the weekend—he didn't want a repeat of the previous one. Friday night his parents had some sort of function, so that was out. That left Wednesday or Thursday.

"Thursday," Blaine said. That would give him one day to go over his plan and hopefully settle his nerves a little. "I want to do it on Thursday."

"Okay, do you want to do it at dinner, or after?"

"Um, let's say after, just in case. I don't want to ruin the meal." Kurt frowned at this, but carried on.

"Okay, so, you'll call them into the living room after dinner?"

"Yes."

"What do you want to say? Do you want a little speech, or do you want to just say it." Blaine knew himself better than to believe he could actually make it through a speech without breaking down or chickening out.

"I'll just say it. I'll just say the words. 'Mom, Dad. I'm gay.' That's all there is to it, right?"

"They may ask questions, Blaine. My dad asked me if I was sure."

"I am sure, yes. Definitely."

"Can you do this, Blaine?" Blaine nodded.

"But I think I'd like to tell your dad first, in case it doesn't go well. Is that okay?" his voice shook with nerves.

"Of course, Blaine. I'd love to tell my dad, and he'll be really supportive, I promise. And it's probably for the best if he knows what's happening, I'll be a nervous wreck all night. You have to promise to call me as soon as it's over, okay?" Blaine smiled.

"Come over Thursday afternoon, before dinner. We'll tell him then?"

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

><p>Telling Burt was probably the smartest part of the whole plan. Blaine felt so much more at ease after their talk. First, Burt was really supportive, just as Kurt said he'd be. He told Blaine that he was perfect no matter what, that he wasn't wrong or sinful or anything he may hear, and that he <em>mattered<em>. Second, Burt looked so happy when Kurt told him they were together. He accepted Blaine as Kurt's boyfriend without a single threat, and said he couldn't imagine anybody better for his son. Third, he said that Blaine was always welcome at his house, and that if anything went wrong to call. And finally, telling Burt was the first check on his list. The ball was rolling.

_Step two: wait until after dinner. Check._

_Step three: call mom and dad into the living room_

Blaine's heart was pounding as he stepped through the doorway of the room.

"Mom," he shouted, "Dad? Can I talk to you guys in the living room for a minute?" _Check_. He wrung his hands as he heard two sets of footprints approach the room. He smiled at his parents as they came in and sat down, but judging by his mother's face it came out as more of a grimace.

"Is everything alright, honey?" she asked as Blaine sat on the couch across from them. Blaine could only give a curt nod. He started down at his hands.

_Step __four :__say __the __words. __Say __the __words, __Blaine. __Say them. __'__I__'__m __gay, __I__'__m __gay, __I__'__m __gay.__'_ He felt his parents nerves grow as he sat there silently. His mother crossed and uncrossed her legs, her frown lines growing deeper with each passing second.

"I'm gay," he whispered. His parents froze.

"Speak up, son," his father demanded, though Blaine knew he'd heard the first time.

"I'm gay. I like guys." _Check. __You __did __it, __Blaine. __You __did __it!_ He looked anxiously up at his parents, who looked pointedly at each other, then back at Blaine.

"Are you sure? Is this a phase, Blaine?" If he wasn't so anxious he would have smiled. Kurt predicted that question. But Blaine was too tense right now. He could barely breathe and his entire body was stiff.

"I'm sure, dad. I've known for a while, enough time to realize it's not a phase." Everyone sat silently, staring back and forth at one another. Blaine didn't think he'd ever been in a more tense room in his entire life. He felt himself start to panic and put his head between his hands, waiting for the outburst.

"Right," Blaine's father said as he stood. He helped his mother up, who was staring at Blaine with an unreadable expression. "Thank you for telling us," he continued as he lead Blaine's mother out of the room.

That was it.

Blaine sat unmoving as he listened to his parents footsteps move towards their bedroom. He heard the door shut behind them, and then nothing.

He sat on the couch for a few minutes trying to calm himself down, but he could feel his hands shaking, and it was taking everything he had to control his breathing. He picked up the phone and called Kurt.

"Blaine! How'd it go?" Kurt picked up after the first ring.

"Can I come over?" his voice wasn't as strong as he would have liked, and Kurt picked up on it immediately.

"What happened, Blaine? Is everything okay?" Blaine winced at the concern in Kurt's voice. He didn't want him to worry. It wasn't so bad.

"I don't know. Can I just come over, please? Just for a little while." He let one small sob escape his body before he closed his eyes and counted his breaths.

"Are you okay to drive?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Kurt! I'm fine!"

"Okay, Blaine. And of course you can come over. I'll be waiting." Blaine grabbed his car keys and his laptop before heading to Kurt's.

* * *

><p>When he pulled into their driveway he realized he didn't remember a moment of the drive, but he was glad he got there safely. Kurt would have killed him if something had happened.<p>

Kurt.

Blaine ran to the front door, which opened as soon as he stepped onto the porch. Kurt lead him to the living room. Burt was there too, waiting to hear what happened. Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand as they sat down. The two Hummels just sat silently, waiting for Blaine to speak. _It__must__be__genetic_, Blaine thought.

"My dad thanked me for telling them, then he grabbed my mom and they went to their room. She didn't even say anything, she just looked at me." Blaine said after a few tense moments. He didn't meet their eyes as he said it, and he kept them on his socks while them to took in what he said.

"Was that it?" Burt asked.

"Yeah, that was it." They exchanged glances, but neither knew what to say. Blaine was sure they were thinking the same thing he was—what does that mean? Blaine was thankful it didn't go worse, that they didn't kick him out or scream at him or, he could barely think it, hurt him. But they didn't even react, which Blaine thought was almost more terrifying. He hoped they'd say more after they had some time to think about it.

"Can we go to your room, Kurt? I don't really want to talk about it anymore."

"Yeah, let's go," Kurt said, communicating silently with Burt. They just understood each other, Burt and Kurt. Blaine didn't know if he'd ever understand it, but he was thankful Kurt had that in his life.

He sat heavily on Kurt's bed and Kurt scooted in next to him.

"I don't really feel like talking. Is that okay? Can I still stay?"

"Whatever you need, Blaine. I know you've had a rough night." Blaine crossed his legs and wiped a tear from his face. He just needed to be in his own head for a bit. He didn't want to talk about it; he didn't want to focus on anything. He just wanted to think, and Kurt was letting him. He hoped Kurt didn't think it was rude of him to come over and not say anything. They could deal with that later, though.

Blaine sat once again with his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. He sat like this for what felt like hours, just replaying what had happened that night. He played the scene over and over in his head, hoping to find something he hadn't seen before. He thought about what would happen when he went home that night, or when all three were home over the weekend. Would they talk to him? If they did, would they talk about _it_? Would they be mad when he got home? What if they tried to send him to one of those camps? What if he went home and they hugged him and told him they loved him no matter what? What if they met Kurt and liked him? If he got home and they kicked him out, would Burt let him stay with them? Where would he go if he didn't? _You __need __to __stop_, Blaine thought. _You__'__re __only __making __it __worse_.

Blaine reached for his laptop and set it on the bed. He opened World of Warcraft, hoping it would be enough of an escape. It was only as it was loading that he felt the small, soothing circles Kurt was rubbing on his back. He looked over at him, then, and saw him flipping through an old issue of Vogue. Blaine felt the tears slide down his face as he looked at the beautiful boy next to him, the boy who didn't mind that Blaine just needed to be alone in his head, who effortlessly soothed him while filling the empty time with his own thoughts. He let Blaine escape to his own world and waited uncomplainingly for him to come back. Suddenly, Blaine realized that he would never find anybody better than Kurt. He turned back to his game, though his head wasn't in it. The thoughts of the night still filled his mind, but he slowly relaxed over the next few hours. He felt so much better than he had when he arrived, and he put the laptop away. He turned to Kurt and laid down on his chest.

"Thank you, Kurt," he said, and the boy put down his magazine and wrapped his arms around Blaine.

"You don't need to thank me. My dad and I are always here if you need us, Blaine, no matter what."

"You really are amazing, Kurt. I'm so grateful for you, for everything you've done for me. These last two months have been the best of my life." Blaine knew Kurt would scold him if he thanked him again, so instead he wrapped his arms a little tighter around him, hoping it would portray the words he couldn't say. Kurt just squeezed him tightly back and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm so proud of you, Blaine. For tonight and for everything. You've changed so much since I met you, you've grown so much. You make me so proud to be with you."

Blaine smiled and let joyful tears fall from his eyes. He knew in that moment that, whatever Blaine's parents' reaction turned out to be, he'd have Kurt by his side.


	11. Chapter 11

Blaine didn't see his parents that night or the next morning. He was more relaxed at school on Friday than he had been all week, but he was still feeling anxious about his parents lack of reaction. At least today he actually turned in his homework, and his teachers looked relieved. New Directions was coming over again that night to watch The Two Towers, so Blaine had that to look forward to. Kurt kept a close eye on him all day, Blaine noticed, but never brought up the night before. The only allusion to it had been when Kurt asked if Blaine was sure he was okay to have everybody over that night. Blaine assured him that he wanted everybody over, and it was never brought up again.

* * *

><p>Mike was the first to arrive, and Blaine did a victory dance in his head—he'd gotten somebody as hooked as he was. This was going to be awesome. The others arrived soon after, toting junk food and pop for the group, and they all headed up to the media room, Mercedes mumbling the whole way about "that Gollum character." Blaine chuckled, thinking the poor girl had no idea what was coming. He and Kurt took their place on the bean bag, Blaine lying behind Kurt as the hobbits traveled ever closer to Mordor. The night was much less eventful than the last, the only talking being Mike's random outbursts.<p>

"Legolas is such a badass," he'd shout. Or, "Frodo, what are you doing?" The rest of the group was interested, of course, but he knew he had a whole new friendship with Mike after this. Mercedes watched much of it from behind her pillow, shouting "why do they have to be so ugly? Why?" and "I'm gonna have nightmares, new boy, and it's gonna be all your fault!" Blaine was relishing it.

When the movie ended, the group again made plans to finish the series the next week, and everybody started packing up.

"Hey, Blaine?" Mike asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to hang out tomorrow? Y'know, to talk about this stuff? I figure you're probably a better source than the internet." Blaine smiled. He'd never hung out with one of the glee club members without Kurt, and the thought of branching out excited him.

"That sounds great, yeah! And yes, I am a much better source than the internet. Unlike most of them, I've also read the books."

"There are _books_?" Mike asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah, there are three. Plus The Hobbit, the prequel." Mike hugged Blaine then, causing him to grin stupidly. When Mike pulled away, Blaine looked over at Kurt, who was holding a blanket and smiling in their direction. Blaine laughed out of pure joy and saw the group out of his house.

* * *

><p>The next day Blaine locked himself in his bedroom, playing World of Warcraft to pass the time. He was meeting Mike at 4 at the Lima Bean, a place he found he couldn't stay away from since his first meeting there with Kurt. The longer he sat around, though, the more nervous he became. He knew Mike liked the movies and was interested to know more, but what if he thought Blaine knew <em>too<em>much. What if he thought Blaine was crazy or obsessive? What if Blaine went into a two hour long speech about the differences between the movies and the books? _Oh__god,_ he thought, _I__'__m__going__to__ruin__this._

Those were the thoughts crossing his mind as he sat nervously inside the coffee shop waiting for Mike. 4:01, his phone said. Mike wasn't going to show. Maybe Blaine got the day wrong, or the time, or the place. Blaine was panicking by the time Mike walked through the door. When Blaine saw him he relaxed, scolding his own paranoia. Mike ordered his coffee and came to join Blaine.

"Hey, man, how are you?"

"Good," Blaine replied. His voice cracked and he blushed. "Sorry," he mumbled, "how are you?"

"I'm good. Tina is out with Kurt and Mercedes, they went shopping. That's why I love Kurt, man. He likes shopping, so Tina takes him instead of me." Blaine had suffered through one of Kurt's shopping trips once, and he never wanted to do it again. If he was being completely honest with himself, though, he knew there were probably many of those in his future. He hoped there were, anyway.

"And that's why I love Tina. Kurt takes her instead of me." The boys laughed and toasted to their significant others' mutual love of the chore they hated.

"Besides, this gives us time to talk Lord of the Rings!" Mike exclaimed, and the boys hunched conspiratorially over the table to discuss.

Two hours later Blaine walked into his house, a smile on his face. He had a really good time with Mike, and never once did he think he'd made a fool of himself. It turns out Mike was almost as big of a nerd as he was, he was just better at hiding it. He danced, too, which was of more interest to him and was therefore the part of himself he showed to people.

Blaine was pulled from his thoughts by the smell of pancakes. Blueberry, he thought, or chocolate chip. Both? He wandered into the kitchen to see his mother flipping pancakes and his father setting out the peanut butter and syrup. He looked at the stack of ingredients littering the kitchen and saw both blueberries and chocolate chips.

"Mom? Dad?" he said, taking a few tentative steps towards them.

"Blaine, sweetie, you're here!" His mother exclaimed, dropping her spatula and running over to hug him.

"Grab a plate, son, and go ahead and serve yourself."

"We have both of your favorites, and we have some whipped cream and strawberries and bananas. We even bought chocolate milk." Blaine picked up his plate suspiciously and started filling it up. Breakfast for Dinner was his favorite meal, but his parents hated it, said it was childish. But here it was, both of his favorite flavors, all of his favorite toppings, and chocolate milk. He sat down and waited for his parents to dress their food and join him.

"Mom, Dad, what is this about?" he asked. His parents looked at each other before turning back to him. Blaine noticed tears in his mother's eyes.

"We're sorry about Thursday, dear. About how we reacted when you told us that you're gay." His mother started crying and turned to her husband, silently asking him to continue.

"Now, son, we know that that must have been hard for you to say and how we acted must have made it even harder. We were shocked is all, and needed some time to think about it. We knew you were never interested in girls, but we always thought you just weren't interested in _anybody_, not that you're gay." Blaine looked from parent to parent, hopeful but unsure of where this was going.

"We love you, sweetie," his mother started again. "We don't care if you like boys or girls or whoever. You're smart and kind and you make the best red velvet cake I've ever tasted. The fact that you're gay doesn't change that and it doesn't change how we feel about you."

"We love you, son. Don't ever doubt that."

Blaine felt a small tear fall from his eyes, but he also felt a wide grin spread on his face. His parents still loved him; they weren't going to kick him out. They made him freaking pancakes. This was better than Blaine could have imagined. His parents smiled back at him before digging back into their food. Blaine cut off another bite but stopped before putting it in his mouth.

"I have a boyfriend. His name is Kurt. I really like him." His father nodded, but his mother squealed in excitement.

"Oh! Tell us all about him, sweetheart. What does he look like? Did you meet him at school? Does he know about those videogames you're always playing because he probably should…" Blaine and his mother spent the rest of the dinner talking about Kurt, Blaine telling his parents everything he'd been wanting to for the past two months. He told them about Kurt's fashion sense ("tell him I want to take him shopping!"), about Kurt's smile, about the party (he left out the alcohol) and the consequent kiss by the pond. He told them about Mike and the rest of the New Directions. He told them about Burt and the musicals he'd watched at Kurt's house. His mother was cheerful and his father smiled happily (which, Blaine thought, was a lot for him. He never showed much emotion). Blaine thought that this was the most fun he'd ever had with his parents. It was like this huge weight had been lifted off of them, a weight they never realized was there. _Everything__'__s__going__to__be__okay_.


	12. Chapter 12

It was the first day of Spring Break, and Blaine was ecstatic. Today just happened to be his and Kurt's one month anniversary, and Blaine knew that Kurt thought he had forgotten. Kurt thought that the week had been too emotional and confusing for Blaine and that the milestone date had completely escaped him. Blaine called Kurt on Saturday after his pancake dinner to tell Kurt the good news and heard Kurt try to bring it up, then back down. Blaine felt bad for letting Kurt believe it, for making him think he wasn't important, but he was going to make up for it. He and Kurt had never been on a proper date before, but Blaine had pretty much been planning one with him since the first time Kurt spoke to him. It was going to be spectacular, and Blaine would never be able to do better. He should have been worried at this, but he couldn't bring himself to care. _I__'__ll __cross __that __bridge __when __I __get __to __it_, he thought.

So now it was Monday and Blaine was pacing around his house once again. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, and all because of Kurt. In the two months since the boys met, Blaine was sure he'd worn tracks in the carpet around his house. He knew he hadn't actually done it, but he still checked every day to see if there were signs of his nerves.

So far things had been going really well with Kurt. He was amazing, the best boyfriend ever. Blaine hadn't made it easy for him, that was for sure, but Kurt was seriously a chick-flick boyfriend: he said all the right things, he never got angry, and he was endlessly patient. Blaine attributed it to the honeymoon phase, or whatever people called it. He hoped it would never end.

When the time finally came, Blaine ran up to his room to get ready. He showered and, still wrapped in his towel, got to work on his hair. Kurt had made some off-hand comment one night about how much he loved running his fingers through Blaine's hair when they made out. He had always managed to work a few curls out of Blaine's gel helmet and it had annoyed Blaine until Kurt whispered that in his ear. Tonight, he was making a point of keeping his hair loose. Kurt had never seen it like this, and Blaine hoped he would appreciate it. He put some product in to make sure it didn't frizz and he looked at his reflection. The curls were perfect—tamed and, most importantly, touchable. A shiver ran down Blaine's spine as he remembered the feeling of Kurt's hand in his hair, his mouth skimming dangerously over his jaw. Blaine didn't know how he did it, but Kurt could turn him to mush in a matter of seconds. Blaine had spent the entire weekend reading _tips_ on the internet so he could make Kurt feel just as good as he made Blaine feel. He hoped Kurt would give him the chance to practice tonight.

He stepped into his closet and pulled out the outfit he had meticulously planned the day before. He wanted to look good for Kurt. This was going to be their first date _and_ one month anniversary date, after all, and it was a surprise. Blaine hoped Kurt would be ready to go when he got there and not in some kind of loungey outfit. Blaine didn't think Kurt actually had lounge clothes, but he was still going to show up half an hour early, just in case. And, y'know, if Kurt was ready to go when he got there and they got to their destination early and had nothing to do but make out in his car for half an hour, who was Blaine to complain? He really liked making out with Kurt. He wanted things to go a little further, now that he knew how good just the kissing felt. He was nervous, though, due to his complete inexperience and unwillingness to navigate to _that_ part of the internet. He knew he wanted something more, though. Maybe he'd talk about that with Kurt, soon. Maybe.

_Anyway_, Blaine interrupted himself, and shook the thoughts out of his head. He had a date to prepare for, gosh darn it, he couldn't get distracted by Kurt's lips. His beautiful red lips that always got a little bit swollen when-

_NO! Stop it, Blaine. Concentrate._

Blaine grabbed his pants purposefully and talked himself through getting dressed. _Put __one __foot __in, __pull __the __leg __through. __Don__'__t __think __about __Kurt. __Put __the __other __leg __in__…_ until he was finished. He looked at himself in the mirror. _Oh __yeah,_he smiled, _Kurt__'__s __going __to __love __it._ He had on gray pants, rolled at the ankles (Blaine thought Kurt might have a bit of an ankle fetish with the way he always stared), a white button up under a green cardigan (both of which were just tight enough to show off the few muscles Blaine actually had) and topped off with an orange bowtie (which shouldn't have worked but somehow totally did). Blaine looked at himself from a few different angles before deciding he was the best boyfriend ever, his actions the last few weeks be damned! Blaine brushed his teeth for good measure, said goodbye to his parents, and ran out the door.

He drove distractedly to Kurt's house, sure he broke more than a few traffic laws on the way. Suddenly he was nervous. What if Kurt got mad? What if he didn't want to go on a date with Blaine? What if he was dressed down and not made up at all and most certainly would not go out looking like _this_. He chuckled as he heard Kurt's bossy voice in his head and relaxed. Of course Kurt would want to go out with him, and no way in the world did he not look fabulous, even just to watch reruns on his couch all day. Blaine pulled into a flower shop between his and Kurt's house and bought a single red tulip. The lady behind the counter gave him a sweet smile and a knowing look.

"First date?" she asked.

"Yes," Blaine replied, smiling confidently at her.

"She's going to love it, dear."

"Yes, he is." Blaine didn't wait to see the woman's reaction, he just turned and walked out of the shop with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. He didn't know exactly what had gotten into him, but he felt really good about tonight, much more confident than usual. He thought it might be the fact that everything was suddenly going his way. Perhaps it was the thought of getting to kiss Kurt again. He couldn't be sure.

He pulled up to Kurt's house at exactly 5:15, giving Kurt half an hour to get ready, and the two of them 15 minutes to drive. He walked up to the door and rang the doorbell, hoping beyond hope it was Kurt who answered the door. It was.

"Hello," Blaine said in his flirtiest voice. He looked up at Kurt through his lashes and tried not to react when he saw Kurt melt a little.

"Blaine, what…" Kurt was flustered and Blaine watched one of his beautiful blushes form.

"Happy one month anniversary, Kurt," Blaine said, and handed Kurt the tulip. He took a step forward and kissed him. He tried for a sweet kiss, really, he did, but it ended up being a little more desperate and passionate. Judging by Kurt's dazed expression when he pulled away, though, he didn't mind.

"I'm taking you on a date, or did you think I'd forgotten?" Blaine was on a roll tonight. His voice was all low and seductive, even to his ears. Kurt's eyes were wide and he could barely make any noises come out of his mouth.

"Yeah, I did actually," Kurt finally said, a little breathless. Blaine just smiled at him.

"Come in, come in. You sit there, I need five minutes to get ready, okay? Five minutes!"

Twenty minutes later Kurt came down the stairs, looking a little more fresh faced and a lot hotter. He had changed into those black skinny jeans Blaine couldn't stop thinking about, and he made a mental note to send a thank you basket to the designer. On top Kurt had a light pink shirt with a blue blazer. Blaine felt his mouth fall open but for some reason his brain couldn't send the signal to shut it.

"Wow," was all he managed, and he heard Burt chuckle from across the room. Suddenly embarrassed, Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and led them out the door. He noticed the red tulip sitting in a tiny vase at the table at the bottom of the stairs. He smiled the entire way to the car.

The car ride was completely silent except for Kurt's nervous shuffling from the passanger seat, and Blaine's occasional giggle. He had really surprised him, and Kurt was excited—Blaine had obviously done something right. After everything that had happened, the last week especially, Blaine just wanted to show Kurt how much he appreciated him.

The pair pulled up to Lima's only Thai restaurant and Kurt squealed in excitement. He had mentioned in passing once that he liked Thai food, but that he didn't get to eat it often. See, Blaine _had_ been listening. Blaine noticed they were ten minutes early and drove the car to the back of the lot. They had just about five minutes before he thought they should actually head in, so he turned to his boyfriend and smiled.

"Happy one month, Kurt," he said, melting at the lovesick look Kurt gave him.

"Happy one month, Blaine." And then Kurt turned in his seat and placed a hand on Blaine's cheek. _Yes!_ Blaine thought. This wasn't the point of the night, of course. If this was the only kiss he got all night he'd still be ecstatic, but Blaine couldn't say he hadn't been hoping. Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine's and quickly licked his tongue across Blaine's lips. Blaine complied, obviously, and the two kissed gently for a few minutes—no way were they going to walk into this restaurant with red, swollen lips. Blaine loved these kisses. Well, if he's being completely honest he loves all kisses, but he has a particular liking for the sweet, lovey dovey ones. These are more about _them_ and less about just kissing for the sake of kissing, for the sake of it feeling good. There's always emotion behind every kiss they share, but more so with these and, as much as Blaine's mind has been in the gutter recently, he just loves romance.

Kurt eventually pulls away, his eyes a little glazed, but he giggled and squeezed Blaine's hand.

"Shall we go inside?" Blaine can't quite manage an answer yet, he's too caught up in all of these _feelings_, so he just nods, exits the car, and runs around to open Kurt's door. Kurt throws his hand to his forehead, exclaiming "oh, Blaine!" but Blaine sees the real smile under the mocking one and mentally pats himself on the back. Tonight is all about Kurt, and so far so good.

They walked into the restaurant and were promptly seated at a booth in the back. Blaine already knew what he was going to order because he had looked over the internet menu a hundred times while making sure it was the right restaurant for the date. He pretended to look at his menu, though, so Kurt didn't feel rushed. He was really just watching him, though. He watched his eyes shift back and forth as he read through the items. He watched his eyes light up when he came across something that sounded good, and he watched his nose crinkle ever so slightly when he came across something less than appealing. Blaine sighed. It was only when Kurt looked up at him that he realized he'd done it loudly.

"I, uh, sorry," Blaine blushed. "You're just so beautiful." Blaine rested his chin in his hand and stared adoringly at Kurt. He knew he was sitting there with giant hearts in his eyes and he probably should have been embarrassed, he just couldn't bring himself to be. Kurt really was beautiful, and Blaine wondered every day how he got so lucky. Kurt smiled back at him and grabbed Blaine's hand.

"Thank you." Kurt had a smile on that Blaine thought lit up the entire room. The waitress came and took their orders, and the two boys stared at each other for a few minutes.

"I really did think you'd forgotten. After everything that went down with your parents this week, I thought you'd have other things on your mind. Thank you."

"I couldn't forget this, Kurt. Never."

The dinner was not what Blaine had expected it to be, but he rather enjoyed the way it had turned out. He thought it would be all chatter and laughter like it usually was when the two hung out. Instead it was loving gazes and whispered words, hands joined on the table almost the entire time. They were on a schedule tonight, however, and Blaine soon paid and ushered Kurt quickly out of the restaurant. They had places to be and lots of driving in to do in order to make it on time.

Blaine immediately turned on the music in his car and relaxed behind the wheel. He told Kurt to do the same.

"It's a bit of a drive," he said, and smiled when Kurt looked at him questioningly. "Just relax," he chuckled, and turned the music up. Kurt grabbed his hand and the two sat in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence and the new, mysterious gift that was their first date.

"Where are we going," Kurt finally asked. They had been in the car for about half an hour at this point, and Blaine began to wonder when Kurt would ask after they started seeing cows.

"You'll see," Blaine replied, and gave Kurt a sly smile. Kurt narrowed his eyes but turned back to the front.

"Fine," he sighed. Blaine laughed and kept driving.

Another half an hour later, Kurt and Blaine were pulling into Dayton, Ohio, headed towards one of the universities.

"Jeez, Blaine. You couldn't have kept it in Lima?" Blaine turned to Kurt, worried that Kurt was actually upset, but he was looking at Blaine with… amazement, maybe? Blaine's stomach did a little flip at that face, whatever it was, and smiled.

"No. This was the only place that had what I wanted." Kurt got antsy, then, trying to see where they were headed. Blaine finally parked at the university campus and walked Kurt towards the school's theatre.

"What is this, Blaine?" Kurt actually bounced a little when he saw the theatre.

"The university's music theatre program is putting on their big show right now. I got us tickets. I know how much you love musicals and I thought you'd like to see one live, even if it is just a university production." Blaine turned timidly to Kurt.

"Blaine! Oh my gosh, this is amazing! I have the best boyfriend ever!" Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and started running towards the theatre, Blaine smiling proudly behind him. The two made it to their seats just as the lights dimmed. Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand and smiled at him before turning towards the play.

It was a pretty good show, Blaine thought, but he couldn't be sure. His eyes had been on Kurt for most of the show. Kurt was absolutely loving the play, and Blaine was loving the way his eyes lit up—heck, his entire _face_ lit up—when the people on stage burst into song. He watched Kurt cry when the show got sad and got completely distracted by the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he tried to hold back his tears. When the show finished, Kurt leapt out of his seat and applauded.

"Wow, that was amazing!" he laughed as the group took their bows.

"Yeah, it was." Kurt and Blaine walked happily back to the car, Kurt chatting about the show the entire time. He talked about the costumes and the set, the main actors, the lighting—all things Blaine had absolutely no idea about. He loved listening to Kurt talk about it, though. He'd obviously made the right choice when deciding what to do on their date. Blaine wasn't sure he'd ever seen Kurt this excited about something. _I__'__ll __have __to __bring __him __to __things __like __this __more __often_, he thought. _Maybe __they __have __some __kind __of __fashion __show. __Kurt __would __love __that._ He made a mental note to check on that later.

The car ride home was definitely more talkative than the one there. Kurt eventually stopped talking about the play and moved on to other things: glee club, his friends, Tina's annoyance at Mike's newfound love of Lord of the Rings. Kurt looked at Blaine accusingly when he mentioned that, but Blaine just smiled proudly at him. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Mercedes has a thing for one of the football players. Bubba. Can you believe that? Who's named Bubba? Anyway, I guess they have been talking in one of their classes. She says he's really nice, not like Karofsky and those guys. They have a study date sometime next week when school starts again. They have a test or something. She won't shut up about it. I hope he asks her out for real, although I'm not sure that would quiet her. At least I'd get to stop listening to her talk on and on about if he likes her too."

"Bubba? Ha! I don't know what kind of name that is, either, but I hope he does like her. Mercedes in nice, she deserves somebody."

"Yeah, she does."

The two carried on like this for the rest of the car ride. The pulled into Kurt's driveway just before midnight.

"Thank you for tonight, Blaine. I had an amazing time. I don't know if I'll ever be able to top this."

"Well, I'm not sure I will either, so no pressure." Blaine laughed and turned to Kurt, who wasn't laughing. He was looking at Blaine with something Blaine couldn't even begin to identify, except that it looked good. Kurt reached over and put his hand behind Blaine's neck, pulling him closer. He crashed his lips to Blaine's, who turned in his seat and lifted the armrest between them and scooted closer. This was nothing like the kissing from earlier that night. This was, this was… _dirty_, almost, not that Blaine was complaining. Kurt was kissing him quickly and sloppily. Blaine finally had to pull away to breath, but Kurt just kissed down his jaw instead, then his neck. Blaine should have been embarrassed by the moan that escaped him, probably should have been really embarrassed, but he wasn't because Kurt was moaning a little too. Kurt kissed his way back to Blaine's lips and let his hand wander down his chest, while Blaine's hands fisted in Kurt's shirt. After a few minutes of this Kurt finally pulled away, but only enough to look Blaine in the eye.

The two stared at each other as they let their breathing go back to normal. Blaine dropped his hands from Kurt's shirt, only then noticing the wrinkles he'd left. _I __hope __he __doesn__'__t __get __mad. __I __couldn__'__t __help __it,_he thought. When their breathing was finally back to normal and their lips not so red, Kurt reached up to fix Blaine's now messy curls, a smile on his face.

"I really like your hair like this: curly, not gelled." Blaine cheered internally—he knew he'd done the right thing with it. He reached up to fix Kurt's hair, but he swatted his hand away and fixed it himself in the car mirror. He turned back to Blaine and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Goodnight, Blaine," he said, and slid out of the car

"Goodnight, Kurt." Blaine watched Kurt walk oh so sexily to the front door. He sat in the driveway for a minute or two after Kurt went in, his mind was reeling from what had just happened. That was _hot_. He let the images flood his mind as he started his car and headed home. Blaine laughed a little (pretending it didn't sound nearly as maniacal as it really did) when he realized this was just the first day of break. They still had an entire week left, and were planning on seeing each other every day. _This __is __going __to __be __the __best __spring __break __ever_.


	13. Chapter 13

Blaine was right. He and Kurt _had_ seen each other every day so far of spring break, and it had indeed been the best spring break ever. Monday was the date, Tuesday they watched musicals in Kurt's room (and had their most intense make out session yet), and Wednesday New Directions came over and they finished Lord of the Rings. Mike had cried a little at the end which earned him a lot of crap from the other boys, but lots of snuggles and _things_ from Tina.

Now it was Thursday and Kurt was coming over to Blaine's house to hang out. He was going to meet Blaine's parents for the first time, and Blaine was a little nervous. He knew Kurt and his mother would get along really well, especially considering Kurt's cooking skills and fashion sense. He wouldn't say he was worried about his dad because he knew his dad just wanted him to be happy, but he was so different from Kurt. Kurt liked cooking and singing and reading Vogue; Blaine's dad was a workaholic who liked to smoke cigars with his colleagues and go hunting. He hoped they'd find some common ground because he just really wanted his dad to like Kurt as much as he did.

The doorbell rang and Blaine ran from his room to the front door. He heard his mother chuckle from the living room, but he was too concentrated on what was about to happen to care. He opened the door and paused. Kurt was in a pair of jeans, and a long sleeved grey shirt with a black vest—it was fashionable, but not too much so. Blaine figured Kurt was dressed down for his parents and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. On the one hand, he was glad Kurt was considerate enough to think of it, but on the other, he wished Kurt didn't have to think of it. He didn't know if his parents would have minded one of his usual outfits, but that was just the thing—he didn't know. He wished he could say his parents would accept Kurt no matter what, but up until a week ago he thought they were raging homophobes. They had accepted him and were definitely working on their beliefs, but it was a process. Perhaps showing up in skin-tight jeans and a fancy hat wouldn't have made the best first impression. _Bless __you, __Kurt._

The two walked into the living room, where Blaine's parents were waiting expectantly. They stood when they entered, and Blaine blushed when he saw the giddy smile on his mother's face.

"Mom, Dad, this is Kurt. My boyfriend." Kurt stepped forward and stuck out his hand.

"It's so nice to meet you two," he said as he shook their hands.

"It's nice to meet you too, sweetie. Blaine has told us so much about you; I couldn't wait to finally meet you!"

"Nice to meet you, Kurt."

Blaine's parents promised they wouldn't interrogate the poor boy, but that didn't stop them from asking a few questions. They asked about his parents ("my father is a mechanic and my mother died when I was little"), his extra-curriculars ("I'm in the glee club"), and his hobbies ("shopping. Fashion has no gender"). He and his mother went on a tangent about the upcoming Macy's sale while Blaine looked towards his father, who gave him a small smile and a nod. _Thank __god_, Blaine thought, _he __likes __him._Blaine's parents finally released them and left for some sort of function at his father's work. The boys went into the kitchen. Blaine had promised him chocolate drop cookies, but only if they baked them together.

"Your parents seem really nice," Kurt said as he pulled out the different ingredients.

"They really like you, I think. Especially my mom."

"What can I say? Parents love me!"

Kurt hummed quietly as the two got started on the cookies. These were Blaine's absolute favorite. His mother used to make them for him when he was little and got injured while playing. Anytime he scraped his knee or fell off the swing set his mother would kiss it better, then pull him inside and make him cookies. There was a picture in the house somewhere of Blaine sitting on the counter, chocolate batter covering half of his face as he kicked his legs and licked the beater. When he found out Kurt had never had these cookies he absolutely insisted Kurt come over to make some. Kurt put up a fuss about the calories or the fat or something, but Blaine told him he was perfect and the cookies were too important and too delicious to pass up.

Kurt didn't actually do much cooking; he mostly watched Blaine work, humming and chatting and picking up behind him. Normally Blaine made a huge mess, but when they finished today the kitchen was almost as spotless as when they'd started. Blaine thought his mother would like Kurt even more if she saw this.

"Oh my god, Blaine," Kurt said as he took his first bite of the cookie. His eyes closed and his head dropped back. He nearly growled when he said it, and Blaine thought it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. "This is delicious!" Blaine had to take a deep breath before he could respond.

"Yeah, I know." His voice was still tight, causing Kurt to look at him worriedly. "My room?" he asked before Kurt could say anything.

"Sure," he said, grabbing another cookie before the two went to Blaine's room.

Blaine stood aside when they reached his bedroom, allowing Kurt in first. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Blaine, is everything okay?" Kurt asked, setting the cookie on the desk near the door.

"Fine," Blaine replied and grabbed Kurt by the waist, slamming him against the door. "You're so beautiful, Kurt," he whispered before kissing him. He barely waited for Kurt to respond before licking against his lips and slipping his tongue into Kurt's mouth. Kurt was so hot, so perfect. He impressed Blaine's parents, helped bake the cookies, and then, dear god that face! Blaine hoped Kurt wouldn't stop him, wouldn't tell him they were going too fast. Was one month too fast to take things just a little further? Apparently Kurt didn't think so. He had pushed them off the wall and backwards until they landed with a thump on Blaine's bed. Blaine quickly flipped them over and pulled Kurt up to the pillows. He kissed Kurt's jaw, making his way down his neck the same way Kurt had a few nights ago. It had felt so amazing that night and Blaine wanted to make Kurt feel the same way. He licked his collarbone—actually _licked_—and Kurt let out a moan above him. This only encouraged Blaine, however, who started making his way back up to Kurt's mouth. Suddenly Kurt shifted underneath Blaine, but shifted would be the wrong word. Kurt bucked his hips, is the only way Blaine can describe it. He lifted them off the bed and Blaine clearly felt, uh, _Kurt_ brush against him and oh god if that wasn't the hottest thing ever. Blaine tore his mouth away from Kurt and let his head fall to Kurt's shoulder as he let out a loud moan. He heard Kurt do the same. The two paused as they let the sensation pass.

"S-Sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to," Kurt stammered from underneath him.

"No, no, Kurt. It's okay. It was, uh, it was good. Really good. Do it again?" So Kurt did, and the boys moaned again. Blaine ground his hips onto Kurt's and started kissing him again. They carried on like this for a while, kissing and grinding and moaning. Blaine couldn't believe it—it was finally happening, and it was way better than just kissing. It felt amazing and, even better, he knew Kurt thought it felt amazing, too. _How __did __I __get __so __lucky? __How __does __this __man __want _me_. __I __don__'__t __deserve __him, __but __oh __god, __he__'__s __mine __and __he __likes __me __even __though __he __knows __about __World __of __Warcraft. _Blaine's head was swimming with thoughts of Kurt, the last two months, the last week, the last few minutes, and the amazing things he was feeling right now. He could do this forever.

"Oh, god, _Blaine,_" Kurt shouted as his hips started moving sporadically. _Oh, __oh, __okay_, Blaine thought as he realized what was happening. He had done this to Kurt. Kurt was, uh, _finishing_ because of him.

"Kurt," he moaned as he felt himself tip over the edge too, his hips moving just as sporadically against Kurt's. He slumped on top of him, his head dropping once more over Kurt's shoulder. He felt Kurt's body relax underneath him, and the two just laid together as their breathing evened out. Blaine rolled off of Kurt and grabbed his hand.

"Wow," he said, and adjusted his glasses, which had slipped down his nose.

"Yeah, wow." Kurt looked over at Blaine and smiled dopily. He got up and Blaine pouted, causing Kurt to giggle as he crossed the room. He grabbed a rag from Blaine's bathroom and cleaned them up the best he could before crawling beside Blaine. He laid his head on Blaine's chest and grabbed his hand, and Blaine wrapped his free arm around Kurt. The two sat together quietly, both of their minds on what had just passed. He felt Kurt smile against his chest, and he rubbed small circles on Kurt's hand in response. Kurt pulled a blanket from the end of Blaine's bed and laid it over their entwined forms. They slowly drifted to sleep together, warm and calm and happy.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** I'm going to try to get the rest of the story cranked out in the next couple of days so I'll be able to keep updating over winter break. If I don't, though, please forgive me if things get delayed. My parents are super nosy and I don't want to be writing this around them. I'm gonna try, though!

* * *

><p>Kurt and Blaine were inseparable after that night. Something had changed, and in a good way. <em>Definitely <em>_a __good __way_. They met at one of their houses every day after school to watch musicals, bake, or sit silently together, just happy to be in each other's company. Kurt had taken Blaine on weekly shopping trips, which Blaine hated but went anyway because he liked watching Kurt fight people for clothes. And Blaine had tried to teach Kurt the basics of World of Warcraft, but they'd ended up distracted. That was the first time Blaine had touched Kurt, and he couldn't get enough of it. He thought he liked it even more than when Kurt touched him. He liked watching Kurt undone, a side he never showed anybody else. He liked the noises he made and the way his cheeks flushed when it was over. He liked that Kurt liked it so much, and that he was the one making him feel that way.

They had been to the Lima Bean nearly every day. It quickly became their "place," and the baristas knew their orders and waved at them whenever they walked in. Their two month anniversary came and went without nearly the flair of the first, but that didn't make it any less special. Now Blaine and Kurt were back in their usual booth in the back of their favorite coffee shop, sipping on their medium drip and non-fat mocha.

"Ugh, can you believe Mrs. Hutchinson today? I mean, who does that?" Blaine exclaimed, hands flying as usual. Mrs. Hutchinson was their AP English teacher, and she had apparently made it her day's mission to terrorize one of the artsy kids.

"I know, she's terrible! I don't know how she still has a job after all these years. She's notorious for those kinds of things. Apparently she's a homophobe, too, which is probably why my grades are less than perfect in her class."

"Is that why you don't sit next to me?" Blaine asked quietly. Kurt paused and set his drink carefully on the table.

"Yes," he admitted, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "I don't want you struggle at school. I'm glad things worked out with your parents, Blaine, but the kids at school aren't like them. Nor, unfortunately, are some of the teachers. I just don't want anybody to treat you the way they treat me."

"I can take care of myself, Kurt."

"Blaine, you've never been bullied before. Nobody bothers you. Don't you want it to stay that way? Or do you actually want to get slushied?"

"Of course I don't want to get slushied, but I don't want to have to hide at school, either. I hid long enough, from everybody. I want to be able to sit next to you in class, or hold your hand in the hallways. You don't have to protect me."

"But I want to, Blaine!" Kurt said, his voice gaining volume. Blaine looked around at the eyes turning towards them.

"Come on." Blaine stood and stormed out of the Lima Bean. He could hear Kurt's chair scrape against the floor a few seconds later. He heard his boots as he stomped across the shop. Blaine didn't bother to wait and hold the door for Kurt like he usually did. Instead he let it close behind him as he marched across the parking lot and down to the pond where they first kissed. He spun to Kurt as he approached the water. Kurt took a few steps to close the distance, then crossed his arms in front of him and raised his eyebrows at Blaine.

"Is there something wrong with me wanting to keep you away from bullies, Blaine? Because I'm a little confused. I try to help you and you just get pissed."

"I never asked for your help, Kurt!" Blaine was shouting. "I don't want it!"

"You want to be bullied? You want Mrs. Hutchinson to give you bad grades because you're gay? You want people to glare at you as you walk through the halls?" Kurt was yelling now, too.

"Of course not! But it's a price I'm willing to pay if it means I don't have to stay away from you. I want to be with you, Kurt, at home, at school, everywhere!"

"You're not going to want any of that the first time you get slushied, or thrown in a dumpster. You're going to wish you had stayed in the closet."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do! I know you, Blaine. You're smart and kind and I love that about you, but you're not tough. Those guys would walk all over you. The only reason they don't now is because they don't know you exist!"

"Yes, Kurt, they don't know I exist, and it sucks! I hate it! I'd rather be hated than invisible."

"How can you say that? You don't know how it feels."

"Because you won't let me!" They were shouting at each other, arms flailing, fingers accusing. If there was anyone in the parking lot they were sure to hear it, but Blaine was too angry to worry about manners right now. Who did Kurt think he was, telling Blaine what he can and can't do? It's his life, for goodness sakes, and he'll live it how he wants to.

"You won't let me out of this box you've put me in. You keep me hidden like you don't even want me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"No, but I'm sure it feels better than being teased and hated for who you are. You have no idea what it's like. You live in your little fantasy world with that ring and those monsters and all the strangers you've met online. You couldn't survive in the real world, Blaine, not in high school."

"How can you know that if you won't even let me try?"

"Stop arguing with me on this. I'm not changing my mind. Now let's go back inside," Kurt said as he turned back towards the parking lot.

"Screw you, Kurt. Since when do you get to decide everything?" Why was Kurt doing this? He wasn't the only one in this relationship, but Blaine felt like Kurt was the king and he was the servant. Why did he get to make all the decisions, and what made him think he could tell Blaine what to do?

"I don't get to decide everything, but I do get to decide this. I have a bit more experience than you when it comes to this stuff. I know you, Blaine, and I know the kids at school. I know what this would do to you."

"Don't act like you know me so well, Kurt. You have no idea how I would handle it."

"I do, and it's not worth it."

"It is worth it, Kurt. Why can't you see that? You don't have to protect me! I want this, I want you. I want to stop hiding and hold your hand at school, kiss you when you go to class just like everybody else. I want everyone to know that we're together, that you have me and I have you."

"Well I don't!" Kurt yelled with more anger in his voice than Blaine had ever heard.

He took a step back from Kurt, a million thoughts swirling in his head. What did that mean? Kurt didn't want to be with him—was he breaking up with him? How did this happen? How did this date at Lima Bean turn into this? Why didn't Kurt trust him? Why didn't he want people to know?

"Are—are you…" Blaine took a shaky breath and willed his voice to even out. He felt a burning behind his eyes as he looked at Kurt. "Are you ashamed of me?"

Kurt just stared at him from a few paces away, a sad look in his eye. Blaine stopped breathing, but his heart started pounding in his ears. Why wasn't Kurt responding? When a minute passed with no response, Blaine let the tears he'd been holding back escape. He fell to his knees as the sobs wracked his body. He could barely breath, and he could taste the salty tears that had fallen to his lips. He vaguely heard Kurt crying from above him, though he didn't understand why. He just sat on the ground, unable to move. _Kurt__'__s __ashamed __of __me. __Oh __god. __Why? __What __did __I __do __wrong? __I __thought __things __were __going __so __well._He felt Kurt kneel beside him and wrap an arm around him. Again, he heard Kurt crying softly, felt him shaking as he picked him up off the ground.

"C'mon, Blaine. Let me take you home."

Blaine stood up and followed Kurt blindly. _This __is __the __last __time __I__'__ll __ever __see __him, __the __last __time __he__'__ll __ever __touch __me. __Why __is __this __happening?_ Blaine kept sobbing all the way to the car, hearing an occasional sniffle come from Kurt. He wondered why Kurt was crying to, if he was the one who was breaking up with him, if he was the one who was ashamed to be dating such a loser.

He didn't notice the car start, nor did he remember the drive to his house. All he knew was that he was home now and Kurt was gone and his mother was holding him while he sobbed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Wow guys. I'm sorry.

But not really. Feel free to bitch at me on my tumblr if you feel the need.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Saturday was too fun for me. Sorry to leave you all in a panic. (If it makes you feel any better, my little sister will barely talk to me until I "fix it.") Thanks for all of your reviews, they mean the world to me.

* * *

><p>Blaine had never loved his mother more than he did at this moment. She held him all night as he sobbed and told her about Kurt. She baked him chocolate drop cookies like she always did when he was hurt (even though this was a different kind of hurt). She tucked him into bed with a glass of warm milk and a kiss on the forehead, saying she was just down the hall if he needed her. He slept restlessly and was relieved when it was finally a reasonable time for him to get up. He walked downstairs to find his mother baking him—what else—pancakes. Blaine had never thought it was a good thing that he was so predictable, but at that moment he thought it was great.<p>

Now he and his mom were sitting on the couch, a giant bowl of puppy chow in front of them and a Doctor Who marathon on the TV. She had called in to work that day saying that her son was "sick" and he needed her. It was almost true. He did need her, but he was heartbroken, not sick, although they felt kind of the same. He was miserable, his whole body hurt and his heart felt heavy in his chest. He was exhausted and just wanted to cry. Or throw up, he wasn't sure. But his mother sat by him all morning, holding his hand or holding him when he started crying again.

He was just so confused. He thought things were fine between them. Kurt never hinted at not wanting to be with him, of being (he could barely think it) _ashamed_ of him. He thought Kurt liked that he was nerdy, or respected it at the very least. _How __could __I __have __been __so __stupid? __Of __course __a __boy __like __that __wouldn__'__t __want __a __boy __like __me._ Blaine sat all morning with these thoughts swirling in his head. He didn't know who to blame, if anyone was to blame. Maybe Kurt liked him at first, and then realized he didn't. That's not his fault, those things just happened.

He barely ate the sandwich his mother made him for lunch, opting for another cup of coffee instead. Besides, he'd filled up on puppy chow; he'd barely left any for his mother. _Oops_. He felt a little pathetic for reacting this way—it had only been two months after all. But Blaine was devastated. He didn't want to admit it now that they were over, but he thought that he loved Kurt. He knew he loved Kurt, actually, even though he hadn't said it. He was glad that he hadn't, because Kurt couldn't take that away from him now. His heart was one piece of himself he'd gotten to keep, even if it had still been broken.

How could he have been so oblivious?

There was a knock at the door, but Blaine didn't move to answer it. His mother could do that. He just laid there staring up at the ceiling and listened to his mother at the door. He heard her whispering to somebody, which he thought was odd. She must have thought he'd fallen asleep. He heard the door shut and closed his eyes. He didn't want to talk to her right now. Not again.

"Blaine?" asked a rough, shaky voice. He thought that's what his voice would sound like if he tried to speak right now.

"Can I talk to you. Please?" Blaine's eyes opened suddenly as the realization hit him—that was Kurt's voice. Kurt. He sat up quickly and looked at him, the boy who had broken his heart for the first time. He looked terrible, too. He was pale but his eyes were red and swollen, much like Blaine thought his were. He was wearing—dear god—an old t-shirt and sweatpants, and his hair was a mess.

"What are you doing here, Kurt?" Yep, his voice sounded just as bad as Kurt's had. He looked over at his mother, who looked at him nervously. He nodded, signaling that he would be okay and she walked into the kitchen.

"Can we go to your room to talk?" Kurt asked. Blaine had never heard him sound so unsure of himself. This was _Kurt_. He was strong and beautiful and nothing ever got to him. If it did, he never showed it, but he was showing it now and that scared Blaine a little bit. This was probably the only reason he agreed.

"Uh, sure. Let's go." He led Kurt silently to his bedroom, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He felt himself shaking, but not enough to be seen. He almost didn't want to hear what Kurt had to say. Sure he looked a mess, but that didn't mean anything good was going to happen. He heard Kurt breathing loudly behind him, sniffling, even the occasional whimper. He walked into his room and, after Kurt passed, shut the door behind him. He crawled to the head of his bed and crossed his legs, staring at Kurt as he came and sat at the foot. Kurt opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine. I don't know what happened yesterday." Kurt started sobbing, and Blaine felt a few tears on his cheeks as well. _Disloyal __bastards_. He let Kurt cry at the end of his bed but refused to comfort him because this was his doing, dammit. He sat silently against the headboard, his arms crossed in front of him staring at Kurt, silently begging for this to turn out okay.

"You asked me if I'm ashamed of you and I didn't know what to say." Kurt could barely get the words out through his sobs. Blaine hated hearing the pain in his voice. "I'm not ashamed of you, Blaine, I'm not!" Blaine stiffened.

"You're not?" he choked. "Then why didn't you say anything?" Kurt dropped his head at the anger in Blaine's voice.

"I couldn't. I didn't know how to answer it because I didn't know what would make you think that. How could you think I was ashamed of you, Blaine? How? What did I do to make you think that was even possible?"

"We talked about this yesterday. You said you don't want people to know we're together. Why would you say that if you weren't ashamed of me? I know I'm not cool, Kurt. I'm a nerd. I'm two grades ahead in math and, before you came along, I spent all of my time alone in my bedroom. You said I wouldn't survive in the real world."

"I'm sorry. I just worry about you. You do live in a bit of a different world than the rest of us and that makes me so happy and I love that so much because the world is crap and you can escape it. But, Blaine, this isn't World of Warcraft. If you get defeated you don't get to try again. People might hate you and there's nothing you could do to change that. If they hurt you it actually hurts. Actual physical pain. You can't just turn it off when you don't want to play anymore. This is a huge decision and it will affect your entire life, or at least the next two years of it. I don't want you to think it will be all handholding and rainbows when it could actually be putting you in danger."

Blaine sat staring at Kurt, not even trying to hide the tears. He was still trying to protect him. _Like__an__idiot_. But he wasn't sure what to think now. Kurt had a point, this was a big decision. And maybe it wouldn't be what he thought, maybe it would be harder. Maybe he couldn't take people hating him. Online it was easy because it was anonymous and it wasn't real. But sometimes he'd get upset for days if somebody online said something mean. How would he react if it was real? But he can't hide for the rest of his life, either, and he doesn't want to. He knew he'd be judged everywhere he went for the rest of his life, why keep putting it off? Why not get the experience now. Why not have the little happy things, like Kurt's hand in his as they walk proudly down the hallway together.

"So this has nothing to do with your reputation?" Blaine asked. Kurt could be lying. He'd had a whole day to think.

"I don't care about my reputation!" Kurt paused a moment to regain his composure before looking Blaine in the eyes. "I guess I'm just being selfish. I thought that if you came out and people were mean to you you'd start to resent me. I'm so scared of losing you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I don't want the Neanderthals at our school taking that away from me, too." Blaine's heart was breaking at the sight of Kurt's tears. Kurt had always been the strong one, always comforting Blaine when he needed it. Blaine had never seen him cry like this and he never wanted to see it again.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine. I thought I was protecting you. I thought I was protecting _me._Us. I've never had a boyfriend before, I don't know what I'm doing. I guess I was just holding on so tight because I thought if things changed you'd start to hate me and then break up with me and I didn't want that."

"Then why did you break up with me yesterday? If you didn't want that?"

"What?" Kurt shrieked. His eyes were wide and the only thing on his tear-stained face was a look of pure confusion. "I never broke up with you, Blaine. Oh god! Is that what you thought?" Kurt started sobbing all over again and buried his head in his hands. He may have been whispering "I'm so sorry," but Blaine couldn't be sure. He hated this. Kurt was beautiful and happy and right now he just looked…_tortured_.

"So you didn't break up with me?" Kurt shook his head. "So we're not broken up?"

"Not if you don't want to be," Kurt whispered to his knees.

"Of course I don't want to be." Kurt looked up at him then and wiped the tears from his face. Blaine was relieved to see a hint of a smile on his lips, and an ever-growing sparkle in his eyes. Blaine smiled then, too, and wiped his tears. He reached for Kurt and pulled him next to him, laying them down on the pillows. He laid his head on Kurt's chest and wrapped his arms around him, smiling as he felt Kurt do the same.

"Are we okay?" he asked.

"I think so. Do you?" Kurt asked as he ran his fingers through Blaine's hair.

"Yes." They laid silently for a few minutes. He had quickly fallen in love with the way Kurt played with his hair, and wondered why he had ever been against it in the first place.

"Blaine?" Kurt finally asked.

"Hmm?" Blaine replied sleepily.

"If you want to come out at school, I'm not going to stop you. I'd be proud to hold your hand in the hallways."

"Really?"

"Of course. You just have to promise you won't resent me if it doesn't go well."

"I promise," Blaine said, smiling into Kurt's chest.

"I love you, Blaine." Blaine froze.

"You do?"

"Yes. I know we've only been together for like two months and that's probably way too soon to be saying it but I do, Blaine. I love you. It's okay if you don't say it back, I know…" Blaine cut him off with a kiss, unable to listen to the panic in his voice any longer.

"I love you too, Kurt."


	16. Chapter 16

"You do? Blaine, you don't need to say it just because I did. I don't want you to feel pressured…"

"Stop," Blaine laughed as he pulled himself up. He kissed Kurt on the lips and brushed his thumb gently across his cheek. "I love you, Kurt, and I'm not just saying that." Kurt smiled down at him, his eyes brimming with tears.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, scrambling up so he was lying next to his boyfriend. He didn't know why he was crying—had he said something wrong?

"It's nothing, it's silly. Ugh, don't look at me!" Kurt blushed, covering is face with his hands.

"No, Kurt, what's wrong?"

"I just," Kurt blushed deeper and looked down, "I just never thought I'd ever hear anybody say that to me," he whispered, leaving Blaine staring at him, stunned.

"What? Why not?" Blaine thought this might be a little rude, but he was truly curious. Kurt was amazing; anybody would be lucky to be with him. Of course somebody would love him.

"I don't know," Kurt said as a tear slid down his cheek. Blaine wiped it away with his thumb, waiting patiently for Kurt to finish. "People have always been so mean to me, ever since I was little. They'd call me a… an_f-a-g,_ or they'd tell me that I was going to hell, or that I was a terrible person or whatever. I thought if that's what everyone thinks then nobody will ever love me. I mean, we live in freaking Lima, Ohio, Blaine. We're not accepted here and I just never thought I'd find somebody. I guess I was starting to believe what everyone was saying to me." Kurt gave Blaine a watery smile, though it faded quickly. He tried to scoot away from Blaine, shame evident on his face.

"Oh, Kurt," Blaine said and he pulled Kurt towards him. He was devastated that Kurt could think such things about himself. Apparently Kurt hadn't been lying that day at the pond when he said the bullies did, in fact, get him down.

"Kurt, no, please don't ever think any of those things." Blaine sucked in a breath, trying to keep his voice steady as he said this. "I never want you to believe anything they say. Okay?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why do you love me?" Kurt whispered, once again not meeting Blaine's eyes. Blaine thought Kurt needed to stop doing that. He never wanted him to be embarrassed.

"Okay, first of all, I want you and I to be able to tell each other anything, talk about anything, okay? Don't be embarrassed. Please look at me." Kurt did, though still shyly. "I love you because you're so brave. You may not agree, but you go to school every day and face the people who mock you and I admire that. You're so strong, and you're smart, and I've never seen you be mean to anybody if you didn't have to be. Your friends love you and they should. You took the time to get to know the shy nerd who was tutoring you when you could have completely blown him off. I love you because you see me, Kurt, even when nobody else did. I feel so safe around you, and you've shown me this whole new world that, like you said, I spent all of my time ignoring. I love you because you helped me and you stuck around. You're beautiful, Kurt, and not just on the outside."

Kurt was crying again, and he had buried himself into Blaine's chest. If he wasn't so concerned he probably would have enjoyed it, but Kurt was crying and he just wanted it to stop.

"Are you okay?" Kurt nodded and took a few deep breaths. He finally pulled away from Blaine and looked him in the eyes. He had tears still running down his face, but he had a smile on his lips and Blaine's heart fluttered a little in his chest.

"Thank you, Blaine."

"I love you, Kurt. And I'll tell you that every day. I promise I'll never let you forget that I love you, or why, or the fact that you're amazing no matter what anybody says."

"I'm sorry I screwed things up so badly yesterday. I should have just said something at the pond and none of this would have ever happened."

"I know you are. But it's okay. Look where it got us!" Blaine said, and he knew that, once again, he had giant cartoon hearts in his eyes.

Kurt smiled at him and turned over, scooting his back into Blaine's chest. They had never spooned before, Blaine realized, but he liked it. He thought they should do this more often_.__Like,__all__the__time.__It__'__s__nice._ Blaine hummed contentedly and kissed the back of Kurt's neck before letting himself relax, his arm wrapped around Kurt protectively. Blaine had almost drifted off before Kurt started whispering again.

"The first time somebody called me the 'f' word was in sixth grade. I was walking to science class. Some seventh grader saw me and said it, then de-booked me." Kurt was picking at Blaine's comforter, his voice low. Blaine knew in his gut that this was important, that this was the kind of thing Kurt didn't tell people about. "I didn't know what the word meant, but I was just starting to realize I liked boys, and I just had a feeling it had something to do with that. That was the only thing for a while, but everybody had seen him do it, or if they hadn't they'd heard what he said. Everybody looked at me differently after that. The boys wouldn't talk to me, people glared at me as we walked down the hall. Eventually, though, people started leaving notes in my locker telling me I was going to hell, or they'd whispering things to me as I walked by. The boys started hiding my clothes in the locker room so I couldn't find them after class. They'd call me 'homo' and laugh at me when I got upset, or when they knew I'd be late for my next class.

"That was it until high school, just name calling and little things. Besides that first de-booking it wasn't ever violent. On my first day at McKinley I got thrown in the dumpster, by Puck of all people. We weren't always friends." Kurt took a few breaths and grabbed Blaine's hand before continuing. "Karofsky started harassing me last year. He slushies me, throws me into lockers, calls me names. He humiliates me in front of everybody and he laughs about it. He calls me lady or a fairy or a, a—_fag_." He took a shaky breath, then, and Blaine knew the tears were going to start again. He wished he was better at handling that sort of thing. "I hate him, Blaine. I hate him! He humiliates me, he hurts me and he makes me feel so bad about myself sometimes. I can't stand it, I can't!" Kurt was sobbing now and, if Blaine was being honest, so was he.

He had no idea that Kurt felt like this (which made him a terrible boyfriend, he thought, but that wasn't important right now). He wanted to hold him and tell him how amazing he was and how wrong Karofsky was. He wanted to kill Karofsky. He wanted to show Kurt how much he loved him and he never wanted him to feel bad ever again.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I'm sorry you've had to go through that and I'm sorry they treat you that way. But I don't want you to feel bad about yourself. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. You make me so happy. Please remember that. Every time they say those things please remember that I love you and you make me the happiest person in the world."

"You're so good to me, Blaine. I love you." Blaine couldn't help but smile. Kurt loved him. Kurt—the most amazing boy he's ever seen, the boy he had always admired, but only from afar—loved him. _Loved_ him. Loved _him_. No matter which way Blaine thought it, it all sounded amazing. He let it swirl inside his head for a little bit as he held Kurt and let him calm down in his arms.

"I realized it last week, that I love you," he said as he rubbed his thumb over Kurt's hand. "I stayed a little late after school to work on some homework and as I was leaving I walked by the choir room. You were in there with everybody and you guys were singing some song, I don't even know which one. But you were all running around and jumping on furniture and stuff. You looked so happy and so beautiful and it just hit me that I loved you. It was the most amazing feeling. I stood there and watched you guys for a few more minutes. Well, watched _you_ rather."

Kurt giggled then, and Blaine had never been happier to hear it.

"You just wanted to stare at my ass," Kurt laughed. Blaine stilled. So Kurt _did_ know what those pants did to him.

"That was just a nice bonus," Blaine replied, kissing Kurt's neck. It was the lightest he had felt in a while. He and Kurt had never been better, and who'd have thought that after what had happened yesterday? But he and Kurt loved each other, knew they loved each other, and it just made things so easy. They laid on Blaine's bed and talked all afternoon. No pressure, no secrets, no hidden feelings. Just love.


	17. Chapter 17

After their big fight, Blaine began to realize that no, Kurt isn't perfect. He always thought he was, but after their big fight he realized that he makes mistakes just like everybody else. Kurt had been so patient and understanding with Blaine when he was still in the closet, and he always knew exactly how to make him feel better. When Kurt was the one who had hurt him, though, he froze. He was just as terrified of losing Blaine as Blaine was of losing him. Blaine decided to take Kurt off the pedestal he'd put him on. He wanted to learn more about the _real_ Kurt, the one who was in front of him when he took off his love goggles.

He recognized this Kurt on Monday morning. They had agreed that this would be the day Blaine came out at school, the day they showed everybody that they were together. They stood outside the main doors, watching anxiously as kids went inside or chatted with their friends by the flag pole.

"Ready?" Blaine asked, finally looking at Kurt.

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess." Kurt never looked at Blaine, but he took his hand and marched him towards the building. Blaine noticed a few kids watching them, some looking curious, others angry. He pulled Kurt a little closer but kept his head up as they walked. The reaction was the same from everyone as they walked to their lockers; just looks but nothing more.

When the warning bell rang, Kurt finally looked at him.

"I love you. Good luck today," he said.

"Thanks. I love you, too." Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek lightly before turning and heading to class. He noticed a group of jocks and quickened his pace, but as he passed they watched him.

"Faggot," one of them said, and the others laughed around him. He adjusted his glasses as he walked, avoiding the questioning eyes of the students who'd heard them.

Really, though, that was as bad as it got. All day was the same—questioning eyes and whispered insults. Well, to be honest, one kid pushed him into a locker, but it was pretty half-hearted, Blaine thought. The glee kids were around all day and they were ecstatic that the two had finally come out as a couple at school.

"Hey, man. How's your day going?" Mike asked in the afternoon. He sounded casual, but Blaine could see the concern in his eyes. He was so grateful for Mike. The two would always hang out whenever Tina and Kurt went shopping together, or sometimes they'd meet for lunch on the weekends just to hang out. Besides Kurt, he was Blaine's closest friend, and he appreciated his keeping an eye out for him now that the school knew he was gay.

"It's been okay. I've gotten a few comments and somebody tried to push me into a locker but it didn't really work. Honestly I was kind of expecting worse."

"I'm sorry, man. But I'm glad it wasn't as bad as you thought at least." Mike patted him on the back and gave him an encouraging smile. "So, are you coming to Regionals on Saturday?"

"To what?"

"Regionals. For glee club? We won at sectionals so now we go on to Regionals and hopefully Nationals next month. Did Kurt not tell you about it?"

"No, he didn't, but I'd love to come. I like watching you guys, you're good."

"Thanks," Tina said as she walked towards them. "We are good, aren't we?"

"Tina has a solo on Saturday," Mike said.

"Wow, cool! Good for you, Tina."  
>"Thanks," she said, a smile on her face. "I've never had a solo in competition before so I'm really excited. I am a little nervous though, too."<p>

"I'm sure you'll sound amazing," Blaine said.

"Yeah, it'll be great. We can rehearse it after school if you want," Mike said. Suddenly the two were making out in front of Blaine, so he turned and walked to his next class, a smile on his face.

* * *

><p>That evening Blaine had dinner with Burt and Kurt. They were having pasta, which Kurt normally didn't allow but decided Blaine's first day out was a special enough occasion. Kurt was happy Blaine's first day had gone well, as was Burt.<p>

"Well I'm glad it went well, although those kids shouldn't have called you that. Shouldn't call either of you that. Ever," he said. Blaine just nodded and blushed, chewing furiously so he could respond. He hated when people said things to him just as he stuck giant bites in his mouth. Burt just laughed and stuffed his mouth full, too.

After dinner the boys went up to Kurt's room to watch another one of Kurt's musicals. They crawled on the bed and Kurt put in some movie Blaine had never heard of.

"Mike invited me to Regionals this Saturday. I said I would go. Is that okay?"

"Oh my gosh! Did I never tell you about regionals?" Kurt sat up, staring at Blaine with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry, Blaine. I meant to ask you ages ago. I finally have a solo so, between that and our fight, I guess it just slipped my mind."

"You have a solo? Kurt, that's amazing!" Blaine exclaimed, a giant smile on his face. He was going to get to hear Kurt sing again, up on a stage surrounded by all of his friends. That Rachel Berry was going to be backing _Kurt_ this time. Blaine had heard enough crap about her from Kurt that, even though she'd been to their movie nights, he still didn't like her very much.

"I'm so proud of you," he said as he wrapped his arms around Kurt.

"Thanks. I'm really excited for you to hear it!"

They didn't watch much of the movie. They spent most of the night making out and telling each other how proud they were of each other: Blaine for coming out at school, Kurt for finally getting the solo he deserved.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until Thursday that Blaine got a real taste of homophobic bullying. He'd tried not to fool himself into thinking that, if the first few days were okay, people would leave him alone. Honestly, though, he'd had a tiny flicker of hope in the back of his mind. But this was high school.<p>

He was walking to history when it happened. He and Kurt had split up earlier in the hallway and he just _knew_ he was walking down the hallway with the biggest, dopiest grin on his face. That was probably his downfall. He barely registered the flash of red before he felt icy sludge hit him. The glee kids weren't kidding—that _hurt_.

"Go to hell, homo!" he heard, followed by laughter and what had to have been a high five.

Blaine panicked. He stood in the middle of the hallway, cold slush dripping in his eyes, sliding down his skin and ruining his clothes. It was cold and humiliating and he could feel the stares, could hear the whispers. He wanted Kurt's help, but knew Kurt would beat himself up over this, and Blaine didn't want that. He also didn't want there to be any secrets in their relationship; he and Kurt had agreed on that as they cuddled in bed over the weekend. He cleaned the sludge out of his eyes and ran to the fine arts bathroom. Nobody used that one except the arts kids, and they all knew what a slushie to the face felt like (or so Kurt had told him). Once he was in the bathroom he pulled out his phone and texted Kurt.

**SOS**. It said. **Slushie.****FA****bathroom.**Blaine didn't have to wait long for Kurt's response.

** On****my****way.**Blaine sighed in relief and started washing the slushie off his face. He had just moved on to his hair when Kurt walked into the bathroom, a sad look on his face.

"Oh, Blaine. I'm so sorry," he said, approaching Blaine with a towel and a clean shirt. Blaine was grateful for his boyfriend's preparedness, but he felt a stab of regret at the thought of this happening so much that Kurt _had_ to be prepared. Nobody deserved to be treated like that, especially not Kurt.

Kurt took over, rinsing the slushie out of Blaine's hair and whispering soothingly in his ears. Blaine steadied his breathing, refusing to let the bullies' actions get to him. He still had Kurt, whom he loved. Who loved him. _That__'__s __all __that __matters_, Blaine reminded himself. If those jocks wanted to bully and harass them, well, Blaine thought it was worth it. It sucked, it hurt, it was _humiliating_, but now here was Kurt, whispering to him how wonderful he was, how beautiful, how much he loved him. Blaine smiled at the realization that he would probably get a kiss out of this. Whoever threw the slushie at him wouldn't.

"What's so funny?" Kurt asked, pulling the towel off of Blaine's now-clean head. He gestured to Blaine's shirt, silently asking him to take it off. Blaine blushed, but the feeling of the slush on his skin was currently more important than his own insecurities. He pulled the shirt off and gasped when Kurt started wiping the sticky mess off of his skin.

"Nothing's funny," he whispered, "I just love you." Kurt stilled and looked up at Blaine, his expression unreadable. Blaine found that he often couldn't read the look in Kurt's eyes, and it was both the most endearing and most frustrating thing about him.

"God, Blaine. I love you so much." Kurt had tears in his eyes, but a giant smile on his face. "I don't know how you do it. The first time I got slushied I went home and cried all night, and here you are smiling and telling me you love me." Blaine thought he must have looked confused because Kurt sighed and pursed his lips in the most adorable look of concentration he'd had ever seen.

"You see the good in everything, Blaine. I was so worried about you and how you would handle this. I thought you'd be so upset. Somehow, though, you always find the silver lining and that's one of the things I love most about you. I think I seriously underestimated you in some respects, but every day you become more and more amazing. You're so smart, smarter than I'll ever be. At first I didn't know how to act around you because you spend so much time up in that head of yours. Is it weird that I sometimes like to sit and watch you think?"

"What?" Blaine laughed.

"I wonder what goes on up there. Sometimes I try to guess what you're thinking based on your facial expressions." Kurt looked up at him shyly before the two burst into laughter. They gripped each other in an attempt to stay upright, but it was in vain. They were soon both on the floor, pointing and laughing and unable to breath.

"Really?" Blaine finally choked out. Kurt just nodded, his eyes squeezed shut and his shoulders shaking.

"At first I did it just to fill the time," he said when they'd calmed down a little bit, "but now I really enjoy it. It used to frustrate me so much that I didn't know what you were thinking. Now, I dunno, it's just kind of part of who you are. It's a little mysterious and exciting. It's just more I get to learn," he added in a whisper.

Blaine smiled at him, unsure of how to answer. He'd always felt so guilty when he realized he'd wandered away from Kurt. _He __likes __it, __though, _Blaine thought. _More __importantly, __he __wants __to __learn __more, __which __means __he __sees __us __together __for __a __while._ He pulled Kurt towards him and laid back, wrapping his arms around Kurt. The weight of his body on top of him was somehow comforting. He leaned up and kissed Kurt passionately, his hand twisting in the hair at the nape of his neck. They'd already missed half the class period, he reasoned, and although the bathroom wasn't the most romantic place, he was the one on the floor, not Kurt and his precious clothes. The cold floor on his bare back was unpleasant and reminded him suddenly of his state of undress, but Kurt was on top of him with his tongue pushing its way down Blaine's throat and how could he care about anything when Kurt was kissing him like that? They spent the rest of the period on the floor, kissing and laughing and yeah, the jerk who'd slushied him definitely wasn't counting on this. Blaine thought he'd have to thank him later.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **Sorry it's been such a long time since an update! I was home from school over break and busy working (not to mention the family I didn't want knowing about this!). Thanks so much for sticking with it, and even more thanks for the reviews!

Special thanks to the lovely I.J. Beckinsdale for letting me whine and complain to her about this fic's progress over the last few weeks. Now go read her fic "A Lot Can Happen In Twelve Years."

Enjoy!

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><p>Blaine had never been more impatient for a day to come since his first date with Kurt. The two had spent all Friday night watching movies simply to pass the time. Kurt was nervous about his solo, but refused to sing it in front of Blaine. "I want it to be a surprise," he kept saying, much to Blaine's disappointment. Blaine just wanted to see his solo. He wanted to see Tina's solo and the rest of the group perform. It had been a long time since he'd seen them, and never in competition. He knew how hard that club worked and, even before seeing them, he was proud of them. He couldn't wait to see what they'd put together.<p>

Saturday finally came and Blaine made his way to Kurt's house. He was going to the competition with Burt and he was glad to have a chance to spend time with him. He really respected Burt and the relationship he had with Kurt. Of course he was nervous too—an entire day together made for a lot of chances to screw everything up, but he was confident the day would go well.

"So, Blaine," Burt asked after nearly half an hour of silence, "how are things with you and Kurt?"

"They're good."

"Just good?"

"Um, they're great." Blaine laughed. "I really love him."

"I know you do. And I know Kurt loves you too. I was so worried about him before you came along. He was so lonely and so sad all the time. I thought he'd do something stupid—date some jerk or let somebody use him. I thought he'd come home with some thirty-year-old covered in tattoos with a page-long criminal record just so he could say he had somebody. Don't tell him I said that," Burt laughed at the Blaine's shocked and confused face. "Kurt's a smart kid, but it was hard for him, I think, to see everybody else around him in a relationship while he didn't think he had a chance. When I first met you I remember thinking I hoped he'd find somebody like you. Back then I thought you were straight. When you guys told me you were together I was over the moon."

"Thank you, sir," Blaine said timidly. He wasn't sure where this conversation was going, but he was glad to hear Burt liked him so much.

"I don't mean to weird you out or anything, kid. I just wanted you to know that I like you and I think you're really good for my son. He couldn't have made a better choice." Blaine felt himself tear up a bit at this, so he simply smiled and nodded before turning out the window. He had no idea the impact he had on Kurt's life. Kurt had a huge impact on _him_, but he'd never imagined it would have gone the other way around, too. He made Kurt happy. He found him when he was sad and lonely, just the way Kurt had found him. Burt liked Blaine, was glad Kurt had him. _Him_.

_We're soulmates,_ Blaine thought, _we have to be. We needed each other and we found each other and we'll always be together_. Blaine felt himself grow warmer as he blushed. The more he learned about Kurt— the more he understood about him, his imperfections, his insecurities—the more he fell in love with him, and he didn't think that was possible before. Now all he wanted was to find Kurt and hold him in his arms and kiss every inch of him, reminding him over and over that he loved him.

Blaine spotted the New Directions the moment he and Burt pulled into the parking lot. He ran out of the car towards the group, nearly tackling Kurt to the ground when he threw himself at him. Kurt laughed as Blaine whispered "I love you" over and over. He heard a collective "aww" from the girls and a few "get somes" from the boys before Burt approached the group.

"Good luck today, kids. I know you'll do great. Blaine?" Blaine pulled himself reluctantly from Kurt and walked into the auditorium with Burt, but not before giving the glee members a smile and a thumbs up.

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><p>He sat fidgeting as the first group performed. Blaine didn't know much about music, but he knew enough to know that these guys <em>sucked<em>. The audience clapped politely when the group finally took their bows, and Burt mouthed "thank god" to Blaine, who just shrugged and laughed. The Dalton Warblers were up next, and they were really good. Blaine found himself tapping his foot along with the music, an amazed smile on his face as the group sang without background music. They were their own music. Blaine had never heard anything like this before, but he enjoyed it. Not as much as he'd enjoy New Directions, of course, but he could appreciate their talent.

It felt like they'd been sitting there for hours before the announcer finally called New Directions to the stage. Burt and Blaine both yelled obnoxiously, smiling at each other and knowing full well they'd get an earful for it later. The lights dimmed and a single spotlight shone on none other than Kurt. The two men in the audience both gasped, waiting anxiously to finally hear the top-secret solo. Kurt smiled and opened his mouth.

_There's a still in the street outside your window_

_You're keeping secrets on your pillow_

_Let me inside no cause for alarm_

_I promise tonight not to do no harm_

_I promise you, babe, I won't do you no harm_

Blaine couldn't help the giant grin on his face as he listened to the angelic voice. It was different than he'd ever heard it, but it was still Kurt. The rest of the lights turned on and the group appeared behind him, backing Kurt and somehow making him sound even more beautiful.

_And we're caught in the crossfire_

_Of heaven and hell_

_And we're searching for shelter_

_Lay your body down_

_Lay your body down _

_Lay your body down_

The auditorium erupted at the end of the song, and Blaine cheered proudly next to Burt. _God my boyfriend is hot._ The tempo picked up as the group performed "This Love" by Maroon 5. Blaine actually knew this song, one of the first he knew all day. Mike and Brittany danced skillfully at the front while the rest danced behind them, the joy evident on their faces. Blaine loved watching them perform. They were so different up there, but somehow were still them. _Just enhanced_, Blaine decided.

The group pulled stools from the wings and gathered toward the front of the stage. Tina sang a song about some girl named Jolene that Blaine didn't recognize. She had a beautiful voice too, and Blaine couldn't help but smile at the proud look Mike was giving her. It was the same look Kurt gave him sometimes, and it was one of his favorites. He was glad Tina and Mike had that too. He clapped and cheered for Tina when the song ended while the group took off the stools. He was proud of her, and he saw Kurt give her a high-five as they set themselves up for their final song. Blaine wondered how he got such an amazing boyfriend.

_I never loved nobody fully_

_Always one foot on the ground_

_And by protecting my heart truly_

_I got lost in the sounds_

Blaine had never heard this song before either, but he made a mental note to get it from Kurt. It was fun and upbeat and had the entire auditorium on its feet, dancing along with the group. Even the Warblers were out of their seats, clapping along to the music. Blaine knew he was biased, but he was pretty sure it was the best performance he'd ever seen. The noise from the audience made him think everybody agreed.

There was a short break in between New Directions and the award ceremony, so Blaine went out to find his friends. After a few minutes of searching he finally heard his name above the crowd. He turned toward the sound to see the entire glee club smiling and waving him towards them.

"You guys were amazing!" he said as he approached. "Tina, Kurt, your solos were so beautiful. I'm so proud of you guys!"

A chorus of "thank you" followed as he hugged each member. They were all smiling broadly, and Blaine couldn't help but smile back. He liked this side of them, of Kurt—they were all so happy and proud of themselves. They usually fought all the time but right now they just seemed so…_together. _

The group's nerves grew as the clock ticked by, though, and by the time they made their way onto the stage they were gripping each others' hands so tight they all had white knuckles. They tried for pleasant smiles, but Blaine thought Rachel looked manic up that stage and he couldn't help but laugh. When the announcer finally stepped on the stage, Blaine too found his hands clenched nervously. He wanted them to go to Nationals—Kurt hadn't stopped talking about it since sectionals. He had learned that they'd gone the year before but didn't make it to the top ten. This year they were hoping to win it all.

The first performers got third place. _Obviously_. They ran off the stage happily as McKinley and Dalton waited to hear their fates. The announcer was dramatic, pausing and going on tangents just to get the crowd worked up. It took every ounce of self-restraint Blaine had not to yell "just tell us already" to the man. He didn't think anyone would have minded if he had.

"Alright, alright. Enough teasing," the announcer finally said. "In first place, qualifying for the Nationals competition in New York is—" one last pause, "the New Directions!"

Rachel's scream could be heard above the rest, but Blaine was too excited to roll his eyes at her. The entire group was jumping and hugging each other on stage, and Burt and Blaine high fived in the audience. Blaine looked up at Kurt, who was hugging Mercedes with a wide grin. He looked so happy, so proud. Blaine thought he could get used to that look. Mr. Shuester grabbed their trophy and the group headed off stage while the announcer dismissed the audience.

They were still celebrating by the busses when Burt and Blaine arrived.

"Congratulations!" they said, and more cheering and laughter followed. They stayed and chatted for a while until Mr. Shuester reluctantly told the group that it was time to head back to Lima. Blaine gave Kurt one final hug goodbye.

"I'm so proud of you, Kurt."

"Thank you. I'm so glad you came," Kurt said, looking at Blaine shyly.

"I would never miss a chance to hear you sing."

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><p><strong>AN:** P.S. The songs are "Crossfire" by Brandon Flowers, "Jolene" by Dolly Parton, and "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor.


	19. Chapter 19

Blaine sat smiling in the passenger seat of Kurt's navigator. Kurt had picked Blaine up at 7pm sharp and they drove quietly to the restaurant. They exchanged loving glances, Blaine growing warmer with each look. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he had gotten a boy like Kurt and he wondered what Kurt had first seen in him. _I'm the luckiest man alive_, Blaine thought, as his heart warmed under another one of Kurt's looks. He could feel the love he had for this boy—this _man_—coursing through his veins. The idea of going out with him on a date made him giddy with excitement. He got to show the world (or, well, Lima, Ohio) that he and this man were together, that they loved each other. Blaine had taken to imagining himself declaring his love for Kurt on rooftops but, since he was deathly afraid of heights, this would have to do.

Eventually they pulled up to one of Blaine's favorite Mexican restaurants. Kurt never allowed them to eat Mexican (_do you know how unhealthy that is, Blaine?_), but he had apparently ignored that rule for the night. He was the one treating Blaine, after all. Blaine couldn't help but jump excitedly, and the embarrassed smile it put on Kurt's face was totally worth it. Blaine had also recently taken to embarrassing Kurt, but only a little. Once he'd seen that adorable face he pulled he took every opportunity he could to do something "childish," as Kurt once said, though Blaine hadn't missed the fond look in his eye when he said it.

The hostess sat them in a more private corner of the restaurant and gave them their menus, sneering as she walked away. Blaine chose to ignore it and, more importantly, not to tell Kurt. He didn't want to ruin the date just because of a bitchy hostess. The boys sat across from each other, holding hands over the table as they talked. They only stopped looking at each other when the food came and Blaine tore impolitely into his food. His mother would die of shock if she saw him right now, but he never got Mexican food with Kurt around, so he was going to take advantage.

The closer they got to the end of the meal, though, the more nervous Blaine noticed Kurt become. When Kurt more or less stopped responding to him he put down his silverware, grabbed his hands, and ducked his head a bit so he was at eye level.

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Kurt started at the sound of his name and looked at Blaine, an embarrassed look quickly appearing on his face. This one, however, was not the kind that Blaine liked. Kurt blushed and shrunk a bit and wouldn't make eye contact with him.

"Oh, I'm fine. I'm just nervous I guess."

"About what?"

"Oh, it's so stupid. I shouldn't be nervous. I know what your answer is going to be but I just want to make sure but for some reason the idea of asking is making me shake in my boots but I'm just being dramatic…"  
>"Kurt," Blaine said, effectively cutting off Kurt's rambling. "What do you want to ask me?" Blaine tried to put as much love and compassion into that look as he could, hoping to calm his boyfriend down. It seemed to work because Kurt smiled and put his other hand on top of Blaine's.<p>

"Blaine Anderson, will you go to prom with me?"

* * *

><p>The two hours leading up to prom were easily the most hectic of Blaine's life. The lady at the floral shop lost Kurt's boutonniere and had to make a new one. Blaine made sure to hover over her shoulder to make sure her speed didn't affect the quality of the flower. This had to live up to Kurt's standards. When he got home, he found his suit, which he had pressed the night before, hanging somehow wrinkled again on his door. He didn't notice it until it was time to put it on, so he ended up running around his house in his boxers yelling for his mother to help him so he could keep getting ready. He calmed himself down enough to do his hair (no gel) and brush his teeth before his mother brought him his still-warm suit. He yanked it on, and ran out the door, promising to show his mother all the pictures the next day.<p>

He made it to Kurt's house just in time and took a deep breath to calm himself. He and Kurt were going to Junior Prom together. Kurt hadn't stopped talking about it since he agreed to go and Blaine was secretly excited as well. He wanted to make this a really special night for Kurt. He got out of his car, grabbed the boutonniere and headed inside. Burt let Blaine in and yelled up the stairs to make sure Kurt knew Blaine had arrived. He turned to Blaine.

"You're a good kid, Blaine. I expect you'll take care of my boy tonight."  
>"Yes, sir, I will." Blaine hadn't called Burt "sir" in a while, but he thought this was an appropriate time to show the man an extra amount of respect.<p>

"You're going to Mike's place tonight for the after party, right?"

"Yes sir. And in the morning we'll go out for breakfast and I'll bring him back after that." It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth, either. They were going to Mike's after party, but they weren't staying there all night. Blaine and Kurt managed to get a hotel for the night in order to get some privacy. They had talked about it and, although it was cliché, they thought tonight would be the perfect night for them to, uh, well,Blaine would be lying if he said what he was looking forward to most tonight was the dance. _Oh hell,_ Blaine thought. _If I can't even think the word I can't do it. We're going to have sex. Kurt and I. Sex. Us. Sex. _

Kurt came down the stairs then, saving Blaine from further questioning. He turned to look up and his heart stopped. Kurt looked stunning. He was wearing a slim black suit with a blue bowtie, which Blaine thought made Kurt's eyes stand out even more. He hadn't realized that was possible. He felt his jaw drop and his breath escape him. Just like their first date, his trance was broken by Burt's chuckles.

"Get down here, kiddo. I think you gave your boyfriend here a stroke." Kurt blushed at Burt's words, his eyes shyly meeting Blaine's, before coming down the stairs. He had attached Blaine's boutonniere, pictures and all, before Blaine finally got a word in.

"Kurt," he whispered. _Eloquent. Good job Blaine._ Kurt laughed and looked up, a smug smirk barely visible on his face.

"Yes, dear?"

"You look beautiful." Kurt smiled fully then and kissed Blaine on the lips, his dad snapping a picture in the background.

"Thank you, Blaine. You don't look so bad yourself!" Blaine's mind finally caught up then, and he smiled.

"Thank you." He attached Kurt's flower and the two posed for pictures at the bottom of the stairs.

"Now I want to talk to you before you leave," Burt said, making Kurt sigh. "No, Kurt, now listen. There may be some people there tonight who don't approve of you two being there. Hell, who don't approve of you two at all. I want you boys to remember that you have just as much right to be there as the rest of them. I hope like hell they leave you two alone tonight, but if they don't, please don't let them ruin this for you. Kurt, you've been looking forward to your prom for a long time and I don't want you to let some ignorant homophobes ruin it for you. You boys _matter_, you got that?"

Neither boy would ever admit to having tears in their eyes by the end of Burt's speech, but they'd be lying. Blaine was touched by Burt's words and he knew Kurt was, too. They had talked about the possibility, but decided, like Burt said, not to let people get them down tonight.

* * *

><p>Blaine gasped when he entered the school gymnasium. He didn't think that wretched place could look this good. He thought if it looked like this more often he might actually sign up for a gym class. There were silver streamers and colored lights hanging from the ceiling, along with silver clothed tables around the outsides of the room, with a large dance floor in the center. The dance had started half an hour earlier and the place was already a mob scene. Everybody was in their own clique, of course, but they all seemed to mesh together in the middle. Blaine and Kurt found the rest of the glee members quickly, not noticing a single glare in their direction. The entire night went well, actually. Nobody approached them, nobody said anything about them, and nobody gave them dirty looks. Everybody was having fun, keeping to themselves and leaving everybody else be. McKinley students were known for bickering and gossiping and generally sticking their noses where they don't belong. Tonight was different, and it was amazing.<p>

Blaine and Kurt danced all night with their friends. Kurt danced with Tina and Mercedes a few times, and Blaine even danced once with Mike, who never once seemed nervous about what others would think. Santana asked Kurt for a dance but Blaine was quick to step in. He still wasn't sure what to make of her after Kurt told him she keeps asking for sex. He was the only one who got to do that with Kurt, and Blaine couldn't keep his mind off the idea.

Blaine wasn't the only one who was excited for their post-dance activities, either. All night Kurt kept smiling nervously at him and checking his watch. He was enjoying himself, Blaine knew, but he was just as anxious to leave as Blaine. Finally (_mercifully_), the dance ended and the group went to Mike's. They filled themselves up on nachos and hot chocolate, relaxing in Mike's living room in comfier clothes. The girls played with each others' hair now that they let it out of it's respective cages. Blaine couldn't believe the number of bobby pins sitting on the table. Poor Quinn just kept reaching into her hair and pulling out another one and another one and another one and how the hell did they hide those, anyway? Sometimes Blaine was so glad he was gay.

The boys made their required appearance, but Kurt was quick to find an exit. They said their goodbyes and suffered through a few minutes of teasing before they nervously made their way to the hotel.

Blaine made sure to go all out and get them one of the best rooms in the place. He didn't want their first time together (or, he reminded himself, either of their first times ever) to take place in some shabby hotel room. He wanted it to be nice and romantic. Kurt smiled happily at him when they entered. Blaine celebrated internally, his nerves about the hotel room finally disappearing.

"This is beautiful, Blaine. Thank you."

"Anything for you, my love." He leaned forward and kissed Kurt like he'd been waiting to all night. Kurt kissed him back passionately, pushing Blaine towards the bed just like the first time they ever did anything physical. Blaine smiled at the memory, but that only caused Kurt to kiss him more desperately. Blaine thought they'd take things slow once they got to the hotel, but he didn't mind this change in plans. Not one bit.

Soon they were both naked and sweating on the bed, kissing and cussing and moaning while Kurt prepared Blaine.

"I'm ready," Blaine whispered.

"I love you," Kurt replied, his eyes filled with love and trust as he entered Blaine. Both boys moaned loudly at the feeling, but didn't let it overwhelm them. Blaine had never felt anything so amazing in his entire life. Physically it was the most pleasurable thing he'd ever felt and he couldn't help the moans and sighs that escaped him, couldn't ignore the ones he heard from Kurt. Most importantly, though, Blaine had never felt so loved. Kurt was loving and gentle and he took Blaine's breath away. He felt more connected now with Kurt inside him than he ever had with anybody. He'd always wondered why people called it "being intimate." He understood completely now. This was the closest, most intimate feeling he could imagine. Just Kurt and him and _love_. That's all it was, pure love.

And when it was over, when both boys were slowly coming down from their bliss, they held each other, loving gazes in their eyes. They were sweaty and messy and panting, but Blaine thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen—their bodies tangled together, their arms around each other. He wanted to lie like this forever.

"Wow. That was amazing." Kurt said, a dopy grin in his face.

"Yeah it was. I love you so much, Kurt Hummel. I'm so glad we did this together."

"Me too." The boys kissed again, happy in the privacy of their hotel room. They were safe here; safe to love each other and be together without fear of hate. They could simply hold each other and kiss each other and share the first of many magical nights together.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N**: This is the last chapter. Thank you so much for reading this. It has certainly been an adventure and a learning experience. I've had an amazing time writing this fic and your kind words have meant the world to me. I've got the beginnings of a new (angsty) fic planned, so be on the look out! In the meantime, I'll be on tumblr!

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><p>"Oh my god, Blaine, I wish you had been there," Kurt sighed. He had dragged Blaine to the Lima Bean the minute he got back from New York (not that Blaine was complaining). Apparently a lot had happened in New York, and Kurt couldn't wait to tell him.<p>

"Rachel got in this crazy diva-off with one of the soloists from another group. They were in the bathroom and we could hear them singing, but suddenly they were screaming. Santana and Quinn ran in to get them and had to drag them out. They were clawing at each other and pulling their hair. It was just like the movies. Mr. Shue was so pissed. Even Finn told Rachel he was disappointed. Of course she just started sobbing and he forgave her." Kurt rolled his eyes, and then laughed at the surprised look on Blaine's face.

"Really, Blaine," he said, "did you expect anything less?"

"Well, yeah! Weren't there scouts and stuff there? She shouldn't have made a scene like that!"

"Oh, I'm sure Rachel justified it somehow in her head. Anyway, we got to the awards ceremony and everybody was sitting in the seats and I swear none of us were breathing. When they announced we got third, oh my god Blaine it was such a great feeling. I mean, it would have been nice to win, but we still have next year. Third place, though! It was awesome. We celebrated back in our hotel. Everybody was jumping on the bed and eventually the girls got into a pillow fight and all the boys just watched. Perverts."

Blaine chuckled and took Kurt's hand across the table.

"Well I'm really proud of you guys. It sounds like an amazing trip."  
>"It was. I can't wait to go there for college! I'm 100% positive now; there's no place else I want to go. I absolutely fell in love with that city."<p>

Blaine smiled. He liked hearing Kurt talk about New York, especially now that he'd been there. Kurt had such high hopes for himself, such big dreams. Blaine really respected him for that. Kurt Hummel does not settle—he fights for what he wants, and Blaine loved that about him.

The rest of the day was spent cuddling and making out, having missed each other far too much in the four days New Directions was gone. It had been torture for Blaine, but seeing Kurt so happy definitely made up for it (not to mention the post-separation sex).

* * *

><p>The last day of school came quickly, and everybody chatted excitedly about their summer plans. Quinn was going on a trip to Europe with her mother, which she thought would help her get over her breakup with Puck. Puck was focused on his pool cleaning business (a little too focused to not be suspicious, Blaine thought). Artie just wanted to be done with school, while Mercedes planned on spending most of the summer with her boyfriend. Actually that was about half the glee club's plan. Brittany and Santana, Mike and Tina, Rachel and Finn, and Kurt and Blaine. Kurt was also planning to help out at his dad's garage and get a head start on his college applications, but he was declaring this "their summer." Blaine really liked the idea. Besides Kurt, Blaine didn't really have too many plans. He wanted to bake and read like he usually did, and he thought maybe he'd spend the summer trying to bake Kurt the perfect delicious-yet-healthy dessert. He thought perhaps he'd try writing, considering how much he liked reading. He thought it might quiet his head a little.<p>

He and Kurt walked hand in hand through the hallways. The glares had died down a little, though the jocks still gave them trouble. The boys had learned to ignore it, though.

"It's so much easier handling them with you," Kurt said one day, hardly able to meet Blaine's eye. "It was so hard having to face them when it was just me. I felt so alone, you know? Like I was the only one and nobody understood. Then you came along." Blaine smiled.

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine said, placing a soft kiss to Kurt's cheek.

The last day of school was always worthless, and this was no exception. The first half of the day was spent at the senior assembly, where seniors were presented with chords and things to wear to graduation. It was terribly boring unless, of course, you were a senior. Blaine and Kurt sat with New Directions, their hands clasped tightly and Kurt's head resting on Blaine's shoulder. When that was over students were given their yearbooks, and the rest of the afternoon was spent eating and signing each other's books. Kurt and Blaine snuck out as soon as they could. They didn't really have anybody else important enough to hunt down when they could be spending the time curled up together on Blaine's bed.

* * *

><p>"Kurt, you better ride that boy of yours all summer. It's about time you got some action. Santana." Kurt says, giggling.<p>

"No way!" Blaine screams, reaching for Kurt's yearbook. "Oh my god! She actually wrote that! What did Puck say?"

"Um," Kurt hummed as he looked for Puck in his yearbook. "'Get some, Hummel.'"

"My god, Kurt. It's like they aren't even satisfied thinking of their own sex lives. They have to think of every bodies."

"What did they write in yours?"

"'Have an _excellent_ summer, lucky bastard. Love Santana' and 'Get some, Anderson,' just like yours."

"While I do consider that to be my biggest plan this summer, they shouldn't have put that in my yearbook. What if my dad wants to look?" Kurt pouted.

"Oh god. We have to hide these." The boys laughed then and set the books aside.

"I love you so much, Kurt. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I don't even want to think of what I'd be doing right now if we hadn't met. I'd probably be sitting here glaring at my empty yearbook, so frustrated with myself for not having any friends. Again."

"Oh, baby. I'm glad we met too." Kurt gently brushed Blaine's curls off his forehead before pressing a kiss to the end of his nose. "My biggest regret is that I didn't meet you earlier. Sometimes I think about how lonely you must have been and it makes me so sad. You deserve the world, Blaine Anderson, and I'm so happy to be with you."

Blaine felt tears in his eyes as he leaned over and kissed Kurt. This man had changed his life, changed the way he felt about himself. Blaine very nearly hated himself before he met Kurt. He thought he was pathetic and destined to be alone forever. He couldn't talk to people, let alone befriend them. Then Kurt came along and changed everything. Sure, people still made him nervous, but not to the same extent. If Kurt and his friends accepted him, why couldn't others? Blaine didn't feel as pathetic as he used to. He didn't feel pathetic at all.

Blaine thought about the last few months and how everything had changed, even between the two of them. At first Blaine was a love-struck puppy, hanging on Kurt's every word. He still worshiped the ground Kurt walked on, of course, but things seemed so much more _real_ now. Kurt was more real, more human, in his eyes. They even fought occasionally now, although they preferred to call them "loving debates." Now, Blaine felt more like an equal. Kurt loved him, and he loved Kurt. Nothing was more important than that.

"I love you, Kurt. I love you so much. I can't wait to spend the whole summer with you."

"I love you too, Blaine. This is going to be the best summer of my life because I get to spend it all with you."

Blaine knew that if anybody were listening to this conversation, they'd probably gag. He knew they were too cute for their own good. _Sometimes_, he thought_, these things just need to be said. _There was nothing wrong with reminding each other just how much they loved the other. There was nothing wrong with telling each other just how much better off they were with the other in their life. And that's exactly what they spent the afternoon doing. They cuddled on Blaine's bed, hands clasped and faces inches apart. They whispered lovingly to each other, kissing occasionally. They told each other over and over how much they loved each other, and each time warmed them just as much as the previous. They were in love—hopelessly and wonderfully in love. They had each other, and that was all that mattered.


End file.
